


Intelligence Quota

by Hildigunnur



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Community: spn_j2_bigbang, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-19
Updated: 2010-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:37:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hildigunnur/pseuds/Hildigunnur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School AU. Being the living version of Wikipedia doesn't mean you got all the life smarts. That's certainly something Jared Padalecki learns along the way while he competes for his high school's quiz bowl team with his team mates, Danneel and Sandy, deals with his best friend, Chad, and crushes hard on his quiz bowl team coach, Jensen. But what's life without stupid mistakes, high school partying and sage advice from Misha?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction but like most fiction, the inspiration comes from real life. There are few scenes in this story based on things that happened in my own life and few of the characters are in part inspired by people in my life. There's no harm intended by this or anything else that appears in the story.
> 
> Warnings: Underage sex, dub con (Jared/OMC), underage drinking, unprotected sex.
> 
> The dub con warning is there because the scene it refers to, can be interpreted as dub con. I personally don't see it that way but I'm aware that it might make a reader uncomfortable and even be triggering.
> 
> As for the underage drinking, I put the warning there because I know I'm working a cultural difference here. It's difficult to decipher the drinking culture in America because the TV news, magazines etc. always seem so alarmist while you see often see a lot more casual approach to underage drinking in movies and TV shows.
> 
> This fic also contains a discussion about sexual child abuse.

_**Intelligence Quota - Part 1** _

  


If there is something Jared would love to do more than anything - well, not anything, but it's pretty close to the top of the list - then it would be to blame Chad Michael Murray for _it_. What _it_ is, is another matter altogether but Jared does want to blame Chad for all his teenage angst.

He couldn't lay the blame on the quiz bowl team itself because he could have quit after the first year and been blissfully ignorant. Well, as ignorant as someone could be when they've sometimes been described as a walking encyclopedia.

Then again, he wouldn't have been on the quiz team if Chad hadn't literally made him sign up, saying things like; 'someone must have liquefied the Encyclopaedia Britannica and filled up the six feet something of you with the goop.'

Also, if he was going to be honest with himself, the quiz team only peripherally contributed to his problems. That is to say, the quiz bowl team itself; as in himself, Danneel and Sandy. The satellites which orbited the team were a whole other story.

The crux of the matter is that when he walked into the first meeting of the quiz team in the new school year, his problems started, and one could say they haven't stopped.

  
"Aren't you coming to the meeting?" Sandy asks as she skips past him in the hallway. She appears extremely determined and Jared knows why: if anyone is jonesing for them to win this time it's Sandy - she is out for blood this year.

As Sandy sprints ahead, Jared sees Danneel strolling along and he slides up next to her.

"Did you hear? Alexis brought in some new kid to assist with the team, you know, the drills and all the menial grunt work. I think she's getting touchy about her GPA or something." Danneel takes her time with the words and Jared knows from experience that she's trying to play it very cool, which probably means she knows something about the new kid. He wants to press for details but he's going to see for himself in a couple of minutes anyway.

The quiz bowl team has Mr. Rosenbaum's classroom after school, every Tuesday and Thursday, in the few months leading up to and during the regionals. Last year they got pretty close to finals and all of them, not just Sandy and Alexis, want to go all the way.

When Jared and Danneel finally make it through the door of the classroom, Sandy is already sitting. Mr. Rosenbaum has his back to them and so does Alexis; they are talking to someone who Jared suspects is this new kid. He takes a seat next to Sandy, Danneel sitting down on her other side.

"Everyone's here," says Alexis as she turns around, obviously ready to start their training but Jared takes no notice of her. He's too busy staring at the new kid. Well, he can't call him a kid, the guy is obviously older than him but that's not really what Jared notices the most. In fact, he isn't entirely sure what he's noticing the most. Perhaps it's the buzzing in his ears or the sweat on his palms. He doesn't know what to focus on; the guy's eyes, lips, broad shoulders, handsome face, hands, and he ends up looking down at the table.

"So, gang, this is Jensen Ackles who is going to assist us through this season because God knows we need the help. Jensen, this is the team."

Jared is vaguely aware of Sandy introducing herself to Jensen and then Danneel does the same. He manages to do so as well, though it's like he's stuck in a trance. Jensen's grip is firm like he wants to make himself trustworthy and memorable. He shouldn't have to worry about the latter, though, at least not where Jared is concerned. The rest of the meeting goes by in a haze and Jared feels like he's on autopilot through all of it.

It isn't until he's standing the hallway, looming over Danneel who is picking up her chemistry textbook from her locker, that he comes to.

"Still spaced out?" she asks as she closes the door to her locker by slamming it shut and looks up at him.

"Huh? What?" Jared blinks and briefly wonders how come he's at Danneel's locker all of a sudden.  
"Oh, you are so gone. So far gone. I've never seen you like this."

"Like what? What are you talking about?" Jared isn't sure why but he feels like he must defend himself against whatever Danneel is talking about.

"Like you've just seen the face of God, doofus. His name isn't Brian Kinney though, is it? It's Jens…"

"Shut the fuck up, Danny."

She stops but keeps smirking at him like she knows something he doesn't. He hates it when she does that, maybe because she does it all the freaking time. They walk out of the school in silence and Jared is grateful for that. He really needs a freaking minute to gather his thoughts because he sure does not know what happened in that meeting. It is like a runaway train hit him full force.

"Hey, Jay! Danny!" Chad comes running up to them in the parking lot, his basketball stuffed under his t-shirt, making him look eight months pregnant. "Your 'Brainiacs Anonymous' meeting over?"

"You done with your ob-gyn appointment? When's your baby due?" says Danneel and pushes down on Chad's basketball so it drops down to the asphalt and bounces away from them. Chad curses and runs after it. Danneel seems to get a secret kick out of tormenting Chad.

"Goddamn, woman," Chad huffs when he returns with his ball. "So did anything exciting happen?"  
Jared rolls his eyes and stifles a groan when Danneel's face lights up.  
"As a matter of fact, a very exciting thing happened. We have a new coach. Alexis found some guy at a pub quiz and thought he might be able to help but I'm afraid he's going to be too much of a distraction for Jay here."

"Oh? How come?" Of course Chad decides to play all coy like he doesn't know what Danneel's hinting at.

"Remember when Jared had a crush on that friend of yours from the team, James, right? Yeah, this is like hundred times worse. He totally spaced out on us today."

"Danny!" Jared almost shouts, heat creeping up his cheeks.

"Oh, dude!" Chad slaps him on the back, wearing his shit-eating grin, which tells Jared that Chad's going to pump Danneel for information the first chance he gets. "I've got to know more."

"Not much to tell, except Jay here seems to have developed some taste, finally."

"Guy's actually a chick?" Chad asks and Jared really wants to give in to the urge to leave in a huff but he knows that neither Danneel nor Chad mean any harm. They just love to tease him; even more than they like to tease each other.

"Pretty enough to be a chick, not girly though. Jay always goes for the pretty boys, doesn't he?"

"Never gone for me though, has he?" Chad is obviously trying to sound disappointed but it's ridiculous enough to make Jared stop feeling so embarrassed.

"Dude, in your dreams." Jared can't help but roll his eyes.

"Yeah, I think we need to get at least ten beers into Jared before he'd go for you, Chad. I would totally pay for those beers, though."

"How come I don't get beer? I'm the one who's straight."

"Oh, no one is going spend precious booze on you to have you make out with a guy when you'd totally do it stone-cold sober." Danneel punches Chad's shoulder and he grabs it, feigning a great injury.

"You wound me, woman. But Jay, seriously? You're all, like in love and shit?"

"Whoa, I just met the guy. For one, he's like four years older than me, in college and everything. Secondly, he might be totally straight for all I know and maybe he's a horrible person." Jared is pretty much reciting what the rational part of his brain is trying to tell him. All the other parts of his mind are still incoherent and he has to hang on to the few lucid thoughts he has if he wants to be able to function at all.

Chad doesn't answer him and Danneel doesn't comment either as they all flock to Chad's truck. Their silence is almost foreboding to Jared, like they know more than he does.

Maybe they do.

  
Jared has known he's gay for a long time. He actually remembers the date he realized it, but he's well aware no one would believe that, not even Chad who was present but kind of too busy eating his own boogers to notice. It was a sunny day and they'd been in second grade. Mrs. Connelly had the class gathered in a discussion about the hydrologic cycle and Jared had been sitting across from Tom, who had known that freshwater can appear above ground as a spring. Mrs. Connelly had complimented Tom, of course: he'd smiled and something in Jared's belly had fluttered like it had been him who had given the right answer. Back then he'd already been falling for guys who were smart, like himself.

The rest of that sunny day he had pondered what the flutter in his belly had meant. He had watched Chad pull Sophia Bush's pigtails since kindergarten and despite Chad's frequent declarations that girls had cooties and Sophia had them in particular, he was pretty sure that Chad was kind of sweet on her. Maybe not as sweet as Dad was on Mom but you know, enough for it to warrant some teasing. But since Chad never really teased him, Jared saw no reason to tease Chad about Sophia, not even when he couldn't find the straw on his juice box with his mouth at lunch because he was too busy staring at her.

Jared had a pretty good idea, even back then, that when they grew older, people paired off, a man and a woman, like Mom and Dad. Then they'd get married and start a family. He knew how babies were made and could name all the anatomical parts involved and explain how a sperm would fertilize an egg which would then turn into a zygote and plant itself inside the womb, turn into a foetus and finally a baby that would be born approximately nine months after conception if everything was as it should be.

But two men couldn't do that, make a family by themselves. None of the books Jared had read about the human body had mentioned anything about that. He did remember a book he'd tried to read but hadn't understood all that much of; about Ancient Greece. There had been chapters on the philosophers and their work, where it had been said that the practice of pederasty was present in their works. He'd gone and looked pederasty up in an encyclopaedia. It hadn't helped much but he was left with the vague sense that once upon time in Ancient Greece and Japan, young men who wanted to be someone in the world got mentors, who would also teach them the ways of love. To a seven year old, even an intelligent and analytical one like Jared, this had, quite frankly, sounded scary.

He'd become frustrated because he wanted answers. Normally books would give him the answers but not this time, and since he wasn't allowed to use the internet without one of his parents present, asking one of them would just be easier. He supposed that since this seemed to be a men-only issue, his dad would be more likely to provide the answers he was looking for.

He approached his father just as he was settling down to watch TV and checked to see whether his older brother was within an earshot. Jeff was pretty cool for an older brother but he would probably laugh at Jared for this.

"Dad, can two guys be together like you and Mom are together… I mean, not married but you know…?" His voice trailed off as his father turned to him, looking a little more serious than Jared would have liked.

"Why do you ask, Jared?"

"I read… that sometimes older men who were teaching boys would also be with them and they would…" Jared gulped, trying to remember the words he had read, "…engage in anal intercourse and…"

His father grabbed his shoulders hard, startling Jared.

"Has anyone been…" His father's voice sounded oddly choked, "…telling you about this and then touching… hurting you? You have to tell me, understand?"

Jared blinked, his heart hammering. Had he done something wrong? Hot tears started to well up in his eyes.

"I… Dad… I just read it in the encyclopaedia because… I wanted to know… I'm sorry, Daddy…"

"Jared Tristan Padalecki, you must tell me. If there's someone hurting you and telling you that you can't tell anyone, I need to know. It's illegal and you must tell me."

The tears were running down his cheeks and the burn of shame grew with each sob.

"I just… Daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… don't be angry. I… Tom, he's is in my class, he was smiling and I thought… it made me feel nice, a lot more than when Chad smiles and Chad is my best friend in the world and I don't want Tom to become my friend instead of Chad… and I thought maybe I liked Tom like Chad likes Sophia even though he says she has cooties. I'm sorry…"

His father's eyes widened and he lifted his hands off Jared's shoulders to hug the boy to him. Jared tried to take deep breaths to stop his sobbing.

"Oh, Jared. I misunderstood, I'm sorry if I frightened you. Please calm down." His father stroked his hair and Jared stopped crying but his question still remained unanswered.

"Dad," he said as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Can you like boys like that? Can a boy have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, that's possible. People can have same-sex relationships. Two men can be in a relationship with each other and so can two women. It's called being gay or homosexual. Women who like other women like that are also called lesbians. A lot of people have problem with them, for religious and other reasons. You are still so young, people don't really know for sure who they like until they are teenagers but if you think you like boys when you are older, you know you can always talk to me or your mother. We just want to you to be happy."

Jared listened solemnly to his father and nodded. He was relieved that his father wasn't mad about him liking Tom but he kind of didn't want to tell anyone else now. He still felt confused and frightened, frightened of making a mistake and cause someone to hurt him in the way his father was talking about. And what if he still liked other boys when he grew older and people would hate him for it? He smiled weakly at his dad and went to his room to look at his world atlas. His atlas was never confusing but he always learned something new when he looked at it.

  
It's not until his early adolescence that Jared fully realizes that he's really gay. His self-revelation brews as he grows up and watches Chad develop a crush after crush on girls. He doesn't voice how he himself is also developing crushes; on boys, that is.

He feels the need to tell someone but every time he starts visualizing telling Chad he imagines fear and disappointment. He also remembers the discussion he once had with his father and the mere thought has his insides writhing, even if he knows intellectually that his father hadn't been angry with him. Still, the thought alone of telling his family that he will probably never marry a girl and have the American apple pie life when he grows up has him hyperventilating.

At twelve, Chad finally decides that girls are definitely cootie-free and that he would very much like to kiss one of them, preferably as soon as possible. Everything starts to revolve around kissing a girl - or at least finding ways to kiss a girl.

Jared knows that he can't use the same strategies in order to find boys to kiss so he kind of follows Chad on his quest - until the kissing becomes a real possibility, when Chad has convinced their friends to play 'Spin the Bottle' at Tessa's birthday party.

After contemplating faking the flu, Jared decides to tell Chad. He asks Chad over, and with clammy palms and his heart lodged somewhere in his throat, tries to nerve himself into saying the words. After having paced in front of Chad for few minutes, Chad watching him with his eyebrows raised, Jared stops in front of his friend and literally drops to his knees. Chad's eyes grow wide but he doesn't move.

"Chad, I just want you to know that you are my best friend and now maybe you'll stop being my friend so I just want you to know that. What I want to tell you, no matter what you think or feel about it, I know you'll keep it a secret."

As Jared inhales and readies himself, Chad starts to chuckle.

"Jay, you're my buddy and even if you're going to tell me that you like deep-frying live kittens, you're still going to be my buddy."

Jared twists his lips at Chad's suggestion.

"Chad! Please listen to me. I'm trying to tell you that I'm gay."

Chad's chuckle changes into full-blown laughter, a laughter that reminds Jared of every moment him and Chad have done something – of happy days, of kites, paddle pools and corn dogs. All the pent-up tension leaves Jared and he feels lighter, like someone has relieved him of some heavy shopping bags.

"For all your talk of me being your best friend, you don't seem to think I know you. Dude, I know. And I don't give a damn whether you're gay or not. You are still Jared Padalecki and Jared Padalecki is my buddy. Now and forever and don't forget that."

Jared can't help it – he smiles wide and bright.

"And dude, you don't have to mack on girls at Tessa's if that's the reason why you are telling me this now."

Nodding, Jared chews on his lips.

"More for me, then. It's just too bad that there probably aren't any boys ready to make out with you. I have my suspicions about Todd but I'm not sure if he's realized that about himself yet."

"I really don't want to kiss Todd. Ever."

Chad giggles.

"I'm glad that you at least have taste, though you are totally crazy for not liking boobies," Chad snorts, which makes Jared laugh and call him a pervert and wonder why he was ever worried that Chad wouldn't understand.

  
Normally, Jared loves Thursdays. There's AP History with Mr. Rosenbaum and they've been doing an in-depth project about the life of a soldier in the First World War. It's both fascinating and sad to think of all the young men, boys his age really, in damp dug-outs and trenches. They must have been so scared, fighting and being so far away from home. He also has Physics with Mr. Lindberg, who is really interested in electronics and Jared is sometimes worried that someone will get electrocuted during the experiments.

This Thursday is completely different. First of all, Jared makes Chad wait for him in the driveway for something like ten minutes because apparently, Jared had planned to go to school without his school bag. Even though tardiness isn't something that worries Chad a lot, he isn't very happy when they barely make it before the second bell.

Then there's the buzzing that fills Jared's head all day, like his head is a fuzzy TV screen. Mr. Rosenbaum could just as well have been speaking about Paris Hilton's shoe collection than the battle of Verdun. And he's clearly missed a joke from Mr. Lindberg when he manages to notice Sandy doubling over in her seat next to him, muttering something about electrons and their smelly feet between wheezing gales of laughter. He doesn't even notice Danneel's smirk at lunch when he stares at his lunch tray like he's never seen chicken nuggets before in his life.

After the bell rings out the last period he just sits at his desk and stares straight ahead, like he's forgotten that when the period ends, you're supposed to get your ass out of the class room.

"Padalecki, gather your things." Mrs. Ferris, his English teacher, isn't a particularly patient woman and she's usually keen on getting rid of her students when the bell has rung out the last class. Jared barely hears her but he scrambles to put away his notebook and his battered copy of _A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man_.

"Is something wrong?" she asks as he is about to exit the classroom. "You seemed distracted in class."

Jared can only give her a smile and a tiny shake of his head. He's pretty sure that Mrs. Ferris isn't interested at all in the reason he wasn't enraptured while she pointed out the various ways James Joyce criticized the Catholic Church in his works.

The buzzing that has been filling his mind hasn't lessened but the thoughts he'd been trying to keep at bay were starting to seep through. The bi-weekly quiz bowl team meeting would commence in about twenty minutes and he wasn't ready. What if the same thing would happen this time? What if he'd zone out again and not come to his senses until the meeting was over? That is no way to train. He isn't necessarily a person who deals well with things as they happen: he prefers to have a strategy. If Jensen Ackles's continued presence keeps being a distraction, the obvious and sensible solution would be to ask Alexis not to bring him to any more meetings, but the mere thought of asking her to do that felt so wrong that it was like his stomach cramped in pain, like someone had wrapped a rubber band tightly around it.

The best way he has to deal with it would be to try to drown it out in his mind: to not think about it, or at least try his very best not to. Ignoring his troubles isn't something he's used to doing but at the moment it is the only way.

Mr. Rosenbaum, or Rosey, like they call him at quiz bowl meetings, is the only one present when Jared walks into the classroom, his book bag slung over his shoulder like it's a terrible burden.

"Hey, Jared." Rosey is putting away some papers and looks up to smile at him.

"Hey," Jared mumbles as he sinks down in the next chair he sees. He looks out the window and right at the asphalted parking lot where he spies Chad, seemingly talking to Alexis and Jensen. Even though he's looking at them from some distance, the mere sight of Jensen is enough for his heart to fling itself against his ribcage. He looks away and sees Rosey looking at him with concern evident on his face.

"Everything okay, Jay? You seemed out of spirits this morning and to be honest, you still look like that."

Jared has no desire to discuss what's on his mind, so he mutters something noncommittal and then becomes very interested in the content of his book bag, though he knows he won't find the solution to his problems in his physics report, his history text book and not even in James Joyce. Still, he doesn't have to face other people's concern looking at the physics report and frowning at the only mistake he made in the calculations.

The others start to filter in. Sandy comes in and starts a discussion with Rosey about whether she should concentrate harder on birds common in America or insects. Jared has always been glad he isn't in charge of zoology on the team. He loves animals but he's crap with all the Latin names. Sandy seems to have a very easy time remembering them and Jared knows she sometimes calms herself down in times of crisis by reciting the Latin names of the cat family.

He's still looking at the physics report when Danneel slides into the chair next to him.

"You on planet Earth, Jay, or are you still a space cadet?"

"What are you on about?"

"Still orbiting Planet Jensen, I see." Danneel leans on the table with her hand under her chin.

"Shut up. Danny, no, I'm just preoccupied with school, that's all."

"Jay, honey. I would actually love to get through regionals and we can't get there without you, so please snap out of it for the meeting. Afterwards, you can head back into space if you want."

"I am focused," he snaps back.

"De Nile, not only a river in Egypt," she says in a sing-song voice just as Alexis and Jensen arrive. Maybe Danneel has irritated him just enough for him to snap out of it for the rest of the meeting.

They do quite well with the questions Alexis has obviously made Jensen write, especially since a good part of them relate to Jared's expertise on history and literature.

At the end of the day both Alexis and Rosey seem to be happy with them. Sandy is cursing herself but it's pretty rare that a team meeting ends without her being angry at herself. Danneel seems to be pretty pleased as well. Jared mostly feels relieved. He does wonder if he'll need Danneel to bitch him out at every meeting but that might end up being a price he's willing to pay. He follows Danneel out of the classroom, planning to hitch a ride with her.

"Hey, Jared. Wait up." Jensen comes running after him. Jared stops and Danneel does as well. There's a look in her eyes he doesn't appreciate so he shoots her a glare before turning to Jensen.

"I was thinking, since Alexis put me in charge of monitoring your knowledge of current events and recent history, we should talk. Have you got time right now?"

Jared is sure his heart has stopped beating.

"I… I was going to get a ride with Danneel," he stammers.

"Oh, I can give you a ride," says Jensen.

"That's great," Danneel says before Jared can even open his mouth to protest. "I have to go visit my grandmother and Jared's place would be a little bit out of the way for me. See you tomorrow, Jay."  
With that, she strides away and Jared is left gaping, like he's forgotten how to work the muscles in his jaws.

"So," Jensen says tentatively, "I was thinking that we should take a bit of time every week, either before a session or after it, to discuss current events and such. I think that's the best way to keep up and have the names and quotes and happenings fresh in your mind. I'm not talking about more than ten, maybe fifteen minutes."

Jared hears what Jensen is saying and he nods. This would actually sound like a pretty good plan - that is, if his heart wasn't doing a drum solo inside his chest.

"So yeah, cool," Jared gets out. "How about that ride?"

Jensen's car is pretty much the ride one would expect from a poor college student: a rusty sedan hanging together out of old habit.

During the short ride from school to Jared's house Jensen manages to tell him that he's a junior in college and majoring in history with a minor in journalism. It isn't so much this exact information that does it, but when Jared stands in the driveway to his house, watching Jensen drive away, he realizes that Jensen is dangerously close to the image Jared holds of the perfect guy: handsome, intelligent and a nice person.

He better turn out to be straight so that Jared can stamp out that flame of stubborn hope in his heart. If not, Jared is afraid that no one else will ever compare.

They get down to the grind quickly after that and Jared is able to concentrate most of the time. He takes extra care to be up to date on current events because he earns Jensen's smile when he knows all about what was said on the official visit of the Prime Minister of Pakistan to the US, or any other event that is making the headlines.

Sandy becomes more serious about the competition every day and somehow manages to get herself out of half her homework. There are speculations as to whether she threatened Mr. Beaver the Spanish teacher bodily harm in order to do so because Mr. B is notorious for making people cry over Spanish verbs.

Thankfully, they can depend on Danneel to hold it together. She breezes into the classroom at every team meeting, winks at Jared and then tells a filthy joke or two in order to lighten the atmosphere.  
She even succeeds in making Alexis crack a smile and that's a huge feat since Alexis is on the edge of a nervous breakdown most of the time. Not being on the team and therefore not being able to control the answers directly has her tearing at her cuticles so they bleed at every meeting and added to that is the pressure of her college workload.

So there's no surprise when Jensen shows up with a paper bag for the first match of the quiz bowl regionals. Alexis, fortunately, ends up not needing it because Jared, Danneel and Sandy end up wiping the floor with the other team.

Their streak of luck doesn't break after that and they find themselves in the semi-finals. It's one of those intense matches. The other team is ahead only by ten points in the middle of the game and if Jared wasn't as focused as he is, he'd realize that even Danneel has started to feel the pressure. The other team is manned by the types everyone expects to see on a quiz bowl team, three boys who are probably nicknamed Squint Prime, Squint Squared and Squint Cubed at their school. Though Jared has never been one to take notice of stereotypes, he clearly feels that the other team is judging them for not conforming to tradition, what with having the girls on the team and all. It makes him more determined to kick their collective asses.

Still, the bastards get yet another ten points ahead and the look on Sandy's face suggests that she wants to make doilies out of their innards. Danneel is very still and stiff beside him and he knows that means she's be down with the doily making. Maybe that's why they ended up nailing the next couple of questions.

So it all boils down to the last question as the two teams are tied.

"This European politician served almost continuously for twenty years in his country's government, holding the position of Prime Minister twice. He was the leader of the Christian Democratic party. He's most famous, though, for the circumstances surrounding his death but he was kidnapped by the Red Brigades on March 16th, 1978 and found murdered on May 9th, same year. For ten points, who was this Italian politician?"

Jared's hearts hammers. He knows this; him and Jensen had been discussing it just the other day. He hits the buzzer.

"Aldo Moro," he gasps and he sees the other team looking daggers at him. Danneel is grabbing his forearm tightly and through a deafening roar in his ears he hears someone shout that they have received ten points for this answer.

They are through to the finals.

  
There's no cause for celebration yet but there's a bit of breathing room before the finals. Three weeks of breathing room and time to prepare. Alexis decides that this means daily meetings though thankfully, she adds in a carrot.

"So it's my birthday next Friday," Alexis says, a couple of days after the semi-finals. "I'm throwing a party and you guys are all invited."

The way she says it is like she's a nine year old who stands up in homeroom, inviting her whole class and knowing that no one will show up.

"Cool," says Danneel, obviously aiming to calm Alexis down. "I'll come."

There isn't really a reason for Alexis to worry. They are all vying for a party, though Rosey does decline the invitation.

"It's hard enough for me to know that my high school students are going to be at a college party. I just pray you behave and don't forget that you have a quiz bowl final in less than three weeks. And now I'm going to act like you are all going to gather at Alexis' place and color in your coloring books."

"Aww, Rosey. Why must you disappoint us so?" Danneel pretends to cry a fake tear and they all break out laughing.

Jared and Danneel are still laughing when they get outside.

"Hey, guys. What's so funny?" Chad is obviously waiting for them by his truck.

"Just Mr. Rosenbaum." Danneel says, like it's a joke Chad will never understand.

"Oh." Chad looks a bit deflated and Jared isn't a big fan of Chad being disappointed. Chad may not have a crush on Danneel but he definitely thinks she's the coolest cat in town. Danneel unfortunately doesn't have the patience that Jared has for Chad.

"Good news though, Alexis is throwing a party on Friday. You coming with me?"

"Oh, Jay. You're finally asking me out on a date?" Chad flutters his eyelashes at him.

"Yeah, baby. What do you say?"

"Well, my social calendar is getting really full. Dude, there's a game on Friday and I did hear about another party and I was going to ask you…" Chad trails off and looks at Jared. "Is Jensen going to be at Alexis'?"

"I don't know." Jared's answer is hurried. Very hurried. Danneel and Chad both smirk.

"I think I need to meet this guy properly. Give him the best friend seal of approval and all. I'll be your chaperone." There's nothing much that Jared can do but sigh.

They drop Danneel off and then Chad takes a detour.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Jared had been hoping to get home to do his Calculus homework and finish his essay on Joyce's use of epiphany in _A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man_. It's turning into one of those essays that refuse to be over and done with.

"Just… wanted to chat. I mean, I know you really like that Jensen guy and you know, I wanted to help out."

"Chad, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I could be your wingman or ask him if he's gay, Jared, I know you like him. More than you probably realize yourself."

Jared blinks. Chad is his best friend but he's never been this concerned about Jared's love life.

"I don't think…"

"Jay. Sometimes you have to learn to go for things. You can't sit around forever and just pine away. Don't start assuming that everyone is straight and thank you'll never have a chance to date someone you like."

"Okay, has your basketball coach made you read _The Secret_ fifty times or something? Why are you preaching this go-get-'em attitude to me?"

"Hey, no need to get bitchy. I'm trying to be helpful."

Chad does have a point. Jared knows very well that Chad will never be less than one hundred percent supportive of him and even though Chad sometimes doesn't seem to be able to tie his own shoelaces, it doesn't mean that whatever he has to say about Jared's life isn't true. Maybe he has to take charge and stop being so cautious.

"So you honestly think I should make a move at the party?"

Chad nods and then adds, "Not like a full come on or anything but test the ground. You still have to do the quiz bowl thing after the party so you can't do anything too embarrassing, like jumping on him and kissing him or something."

"God, Chad," mutters Jared. He's never kissed another boy before and he's definitely not going to start by jumping the guy he really likes and kissing him straight away.

"I've seen you drunk. You kind of say goodbye to your inhibitions when you get a drop of alcohol in you."

"I'm not going to get drunk at the party. I mean, maybe a glass of punch to get tipsy but not really drunk. Not with the quiz bowl finals coming up. And I can't go home after the party dead drunk."

"Hey dude, stay at my place. We could go to that other party as well. Some guy Charlie knows is throwing it. I think they work together at KFC. Only if you want to though, or if all of Alexis' college buddies are like super-lame and talk about politics and the best way to cook ramen."

He can't help but snort. It would be rather typical of Alexis to have a bunch of friends who are even more serious than she is. Then again, he has known her for years and knows that she acts that way because more than anything she wants to be taken seriously, as if being a pretty girl somehow makes people think she's a frivolous person. That is one of the reasons why he and Alexis never clicked like he's done with his current teammates, or at least with Danneel. He and Sandy complement each other very well on the team and sometimes it's like they can read each other's minds but Sandy is an unbelievably single-minded person. Outside of the quiz bowl team she doesn't have much time to socialize. If Jared sees her in the hallway, she's normally either running to class or to the library. She has her own spot there and woe to anyone else who dares to sit there.

"So you think Alexis' party will be the poor college student's version of a fine wine and cheese soirée?"

"You know it's going to be like that. You're going to get stuck in a conversation with some kids who are going backpacking in Europe and all they'll talk about are the cathedrals they are going to look at."

"I actually like that sort of thing, you know."

"I know, you huge nerd."

  
At the Thursday meeting of the quiz bowl team Jensen and Jared have another one-on-one session. After having gone through all the world leaders present at a recent G8 meeting, Jensen stops questioning Jared to look at some papers.

"So you know a lot of Alexis' friends at the college. Do you all hang out or something?"

Jensen looks up at Jared like he doesn't understand how some college kids might have anything to do with Angela Merkel and Dmitry Medvedev.

"What do you mean?"

"I was just wondering about the people who might be coming to the party."

"I know Alexis mostly from quiz nights at the student union. We never even shared a class. So I don't know who her friends are. I mean, the people I'll know at the party are you and the girls."

Jared feels like he has a warm blanket wrapped around him. The way Jensen emphasizes _you_ has that effect.

"I've known Alexis for a couple of years and she's always been really serious, you know what I mean?" Jared says as Jensen nods. "I always wondered how she'd do socially at college. The quiz bowl team was all she really had when she went here."

"I do know that the engineering majors stick closely together so we might be in for a night full of jokes about bridge building and robots or something."

"Are there many history jokes at parties with history majors?"

"I actually have never been to a party with the other history majors. I stick to the few friends I've made in classes and such but I don't like these forced social gatherings. You know, just because you study the same thing or work at the same place doesn't mean you have much in common with those people."

"But you must have partied some in high school?"

"No, I can't say I did. I really hated my high school and everyone there. Totally different from yours or the little I know about your high school. Mine was smaller, where everyone had their place in the social pyramid, whether they liked their place or not. I was dying to rebel against it but I also didn't want people to get some presumptions about me. I was never going to be someone who was an open book with everything laid bare, I kind of just closed off instead. It wasn't until I came here that I even opened up to myself - like, admitting that I was gay."

And with that, Jared is sure his heart has just stopped beating. The shock must read on his face because Jensen raises his eyebrows.

"You have a problem with that?" he asks, his voice full of surprise, like Jared has just told him that he's an avid collector of rusty nails.

"I…" Jared's mouth is all dry, his brain has probably turned to molasses and the words simply tumble out of his mouth without him even pausing for thought. "I don't have a problem with that. I'm gay too."

As he says it, it's like he's a kid in the playground who is claiming his dad is a cop too. Pathetic, even if it's true.

"Okay…" Jensen says, clearly unsure whether Jared's joking or not.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… it's true though." Jared looks at his book bag on the floor and wonders how embarrassing it would be to face Jensen again after bolting out of the classroom they are in compared to staying put and feeling so mortified that he'd almost prefer to stand naked in front of the entire student assembly.

"Seriously, it's okay." Jensen's voice sounds odd, like his throat suddenly got a number too small. "You told your friends and your parents yet?"

"Chad and Danneel know and my parents kind of do too. I haven't come out to my parents but I'm pretty sure they know. They get all up in arms about anything that is even slightly homophobic. They gave a lecture to a friend of my little sister who was complaining about her math homework and said it was so gay. But I'm definitely not out to people in school. I'm pretty sure though that most of them don't care but you never know. And maybe it's just me but I'm not sure I want to spend my time at high school wearing some huge label." He actually has to take a deep breath after that speech and Jensen is looking at him with amusement.

"I get it, with not wanting the label." Jensen's smile is bright and Jared feels a lot better. "I've got to get going but I'll see you at Alexis' party, right?"

Jared nods, smiling so wide that he knows his dimples have to be highly visible.

  
There is literally no one there that Jared knows except for the hostess herself. It's a party full of college kids making him feel stupidly young and inadequate as he hangs out in a corner and watches the party. He hides behind his cup of punch, glancing over the brim every time he takes a sip. The rest of his friends who had also been invited to the party were all at the basketball game but he had opted out because he had hoped that Jensen would be at the party early and they could maybe hang out and talk.

Instead there is this obnoxious guy who Jared is sure is making fun of him.

"Gotta thank Alexis for inviting some high-school grade tender meat like your ass here," the guy leers.

Jared doesn't dignify him with an answer and tries to shirk away, hoping that his friends are going to show up soon. He knows that Chad wouldn't be there right away because he has a game but where are Danneel and Sandy? They usually show up early at parties. Most of all he wants Jensen to be there. Logically he knows that Jensen isn't like the creeper who is still staring at him, not into guys much younger than he is. Maybe Jensen will make an exception though. That is, if he likes Jared.

So he goes for another cup of punch, fidgeting around the house and spending a long time examining the grand bookcase in the hallway. Jared likes looking at bookcases and the books in them but he's seen this particular bookcase many times before. Mostly he feels it's the safest part of the house.  
He's on his third cup of punch when his phone vibrates.

'WON THE GAME. CU IN 10' the text reads.

So at least Chad was going to show up and save him from his lonely misery.

"Hey, high school kid." The creepy guy is back. Jared discreetly tries to look for some way to escape him but either he has to push past him or go hide in the master bedroom. Perhaps Jared had been brought up too well, because both options feel so rude that he can't even contemplate them.

"So are we going to go in there?" The guy asks and points at the door to the bedroom. Pressing against the bookshelf, Jared shakes his head and wishes hard that the guy would leave him alone.

"But I really want you," the guys says and moves closer to Jared. There's nothing that Jared wants more than to push the guy away but he literally can't. He can't put his arms up to push the guy away and he can't tell him to fuck off. And the guy seems to take Jared's inaction as some sort of incentive to lean forward and breathe into his ear, or pant, actually. Jared closes his eyes, hoping that the guy will just get bored and go away.

"Hey, Jay!"

Looking up, Jared sees Chad down the hall and with him Danneel, Jensen and some guy Jared has never seen before. He tries to get a better look at the newcomers but the guy's mouth is on his ear and he can't help but shirk away just a little.

"Hey, I thought we were going to have fun?"

"No," Jared whispers and looks back down the hallway for his friends. Chad is the only one left, looking at him funny, like his mother did when he was little and begged to play with the neighbor's big dog; a gray Neapolitan Mastiff named Albert.

"Come on." The guy leans up against him more.

"Hey, dude, leave him alone. Jesus, didn't you hear him say no?" Chad pulls the guy away, frowns at Jared and pushes the guy from him.

"Whoa, sorry that I touched your girlfriend, man." And with that he was gone.

"Jared, what the hell? Why were you allowing that dude to lick your ear or whatever? You that drunk already?"

Jared blinks. The world has gotten slightly fuzzy around the edges but he's probably not as drunk as Chad thinks he is.

"No," he says defensively.

"God, Jay." Chad throws up his hands in a mock surrender and Jared uses the chance to change the subject.

"Did Jensen come with you and Danneel?"

"Yeah, he and his friend showed up at the game. Me and Danneel actually hitched a ride with them 'cause I'm not planning on staying sober. Actually Jensen asked about you, thought you would be at the game."

Wasn't that just typical? While he'd spent a very awkward time at the party, the people he had wanted to hang out with and talk to had all been together at Chad's basketball game.

"Hey, cheer up. We are here now. Let's get you some more punch and party."

Chad drags him to the living room. Jensen is there, standing in a corner with this friend of his and they are whispering together, looking like they don't want to be bothered. Jared sighs. His absence at the basketball game must have made Jensen think he was avoiding him or thought he was above attending his best friend's game.

"Here, have more punch and stop looking like I stole all your toys." Chad obviously isn't in the mood to put up with Jared feeling sorry for himself. "And go and talk to Jensen."

Jared takes the cup from Chad and looks back at Jensen who is still very cozy with his friend in the corner. Maybe that's his boyfriend. Jensen never said anything about being single. He doesn't want to walk up to Jensen right now and be introduced to 'so-and-so, my boyfriend.'

"You missed a fucking exciting game," Danneel says, coming up to Jared and swinging her arm around his shoulders. "Mr. Murray here scored ten points all by himself."

Chad looks pretty smug with Danneel's compliment.

"Yeah, instead I hung around here with no one to talk to."

"Except that dude who was hitting on you when we came. He was kind of scuzzy. Why didn't you tell him to go fuck himself?" Danneel clearly feels the same way as Chad.

"I don't know. I mean, I did tell him no." It is uncomfortable talking about this with Danneel and Chad. They have always been less concerned with other people's feelings than Jared. He's always been very careful never to hurt anyone else's feelings if he can help it.

"Oh, Jared." Danneel slaps him on the face and lets him go.

"Hey." Alexis slides up next to Chad. "What are you talking about? Chad, how did your game go?"

Of course. Now is the time Alexis finally dignifies them with her presence, rather than when Jared was alone, not knowing anyone else.

"We won," Chad says grinning. Alexis beams at him.

"Awesome. I wish I could have been there."

Jared suppresses the urge to snort. Alexis never went to games when she actually attended the school.

"You'll just have to come to the next game. That's the one that determines whether we are on our way to the state championships or not."

"Totally." The fake tone in Alexis' voice is jarring and Jared can only hope that Chad hears it as well.

"I'd pay to see that," Danneel murmurs but so only Jared hears her.

The subject changes and Alexis drifts away to talk to some of her other guests. Jared glances back at Jensen who is still deep in conversation with his friend, boyfriend, whatever. He's finished the cup of punch he had and he needs another one, even though it's either his fifth or his sixth. Who is counting anyway? It's making everything fuzzy and his tongue has become numb and that is just fine, just like it should be.

"So, is it time for me to be your wingman?" Chad looks up at him and then nods in the direction of Jensen.

"I don't know. I mean, who is this guy with him?"

"Just his friend, I think. He just introduced him as Jason, didn't say whether he was his friend, his cousin, his great-grandmother or his personal astrologer."

"Very funny, Chad. But I don't know…"

"Suit yourself. I mean, I'd even take one for the team and distract that Jason dude for you."

Jared smiles. Chad definitely has his heart in the right place, though his mind might have lost its direction along the way.

"But dude, if you aren't going to even talk to Jensen, then what the hell are we hanging here for? The only cute girls here are Danneel and Alexis and they are Danneel and Alexis…"

"Right now?"

"Dude, it's almost midnight."

Jared has been there for four hours and he still feels awkward and strange, even if his friends are there.

"I suppose we can go," Jared says reluctantly to Chad, taking one last look at Jensen in the corner with Jason who is probably not his cousin and not his personal astrologer.  



	2. Intelligence Quota

_**Intelligence Quota - Part 2** _

Maybe the rum from Chad's flask had been overkill but Jared is still lucid enough when they enter the party at Charlie's friend's house. He follows Chad inside and they hang out where living room meets the hallway, surveying the crowd. The place is absolutely packed. There are some kids there they know from school but mostly it's a peculiar mix of people, both young and old.

It's getting late, Jared notes, or maybe it's getting early. His head is too fuzzy to be clear on the semantics. All he knows is that if he hadn't told his parents he'd be staying at Chad's, his ass would be so grounded. It feels nice to be this numbed by the alcohol, smiling stupidly at the strangers around him at the party and not feeling as awkward as he'd felt at Alexis' party. Everyone is a stranger here and everyone is your friend. It's probably from this kind of atmosphere that peace movements and love-ins are born - if they were still stuck in the sixties. Maybe it's a little bit more sinister now but Jared doesn't care and the people who probably know he's too young to be out so late, so drunk, don't care either. They are even leering at him and still he keeps up his idiotic grin.

Chad is chatting with a couple of women. Jared suspects that they are closer to their mothers' age than their own but if Chad's interested in them, then more power to him. One of them hands him a shot glass as he walks up to them and then remarks on his height. He downs the shot which turns out to be Jägermeister and he's unable to fight the grimace on his face as he puts the glass away. The women laugh. Initially he thinks they are mocking them but then they start proclaiming that they've had a run-in with the law for their previous relations with underage boys. Chad looks at Jared in horror and they all but run to the other end of the dance floor. The women might have been playing a joke on them but neither of them has the desire to be roofied by some wannabe cougar.

As they are trying their best to hide on the other side of the living room, terrified that the pleasant drunken state they'd been experiencing is swiftly vanishing and some sobering helplessness creeping upon them, a girl wanders over to them. She's obviously older than them – Jared thinks she might be the same age as Jeff. She's short and chubby, with a pretty face and she seems determined to catch Chad's attention. Since Chad is relatively easy and probably happy he's met someone his side of thirty at the party, he's suddenly making out with the girl in a nearby sofa with the girl straddling Chad.

Jared blinks. He'd been standing right there. How had they gone from just standing there to Chad getting close to third base with the girl in what seemed merely seconds? He clearly is drunker than he'd thought. Not knowing whether to save Chad or not, he wanders around the living room and out into the hallway and into the kitchen, glancing at Chad every time he enters the living room again. At his sixth check, he doesn't catch a glimpse of Chad with his hand up the girl's skirt. Instead there's this guy staring at him and he has these intense looking brown eyes. It's like he's totally caught in his gaze and he doesn't notice him coming closer until the guy is almost in his face, well, at his chest, because he's almost a head taller than the guy. That doesn't matter to his alcohol-logged brain; Chad is getting off with some chick and why shouldn't he get off with random hot guys? The thought has hardly formed in his head when he's pulled down, his lips meeting other lips.

He finds himself backed against the wall and the other guy is kissing him, tongue and all. Leaning on the wall he bends his knees a little and the guy pushes his thigh between his legs, almost pressing on his crotch.

Jared feels the guy's half-hard cock rub against his hip and somehow the idea he's obliged to do something about that pops up in his mind. While sucking on the guy's tongue he skates his right hand down the guy's sides, hiking up his shirt a little, feeling the hot skin underneath and running his fingers over his stomach. For some reason, he starts thinking of Jensen and feels like he's betraying him, like he's cheating on him. It's a strange feeling and his hearts hammers in his chest and even though the guy he's kissing is a pretty good kisser, Jared almost wants to push him away. Which would make him a huge cock tease and he really doesn't want to be one. Maybe he can just jerk the guy off right there and then never have to see him again. It seems like a good idea as he pushes his hand down the front of the guy's pants and the guy seems to like it, he shifts so Jared can better maneuver his hand. It's still an awkward angle and he doesn't get a good grip so it's more like the guy's humping his hand. So it wasn't a good idea after all. He pulls away from their kiss and the guy starts to lick his throat, which feels odd. Scanning the crowd Jared looks for Chad, hoping maybe he's done with the girl and might help him in some way.

Chad's leaving and he's leading the girl. So Jared isn't going to get to crash at his place. That's just great. Chad just smiles and gives him the thumbs up. Jared's stuck there now and his wrist is really starting to ache. Pulling his hand away, he looks at the guy who smiles and mouths something. The din of the music and the people at the party is too loud for Jared to hear so he leans closer to the guy to try to catch what he's saying.

"Wanna come home with me?"

There's a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that going with the guy is a monumentally stupid idea and he will come to regret it. A bigger part of him wants to see where it leads and besides, if Chad is taking the girl home, he doesn't have a place to crash and there's no chance in hell he's going home in the state he is in.

He doesn't answer the guy, not verbally at least, just takes his hand and allows him to lead him outside. Everything is bathed in that gray light that precedes sunrise and there's a chill to the air. Jared pulls closer to the guy and it's only then he realizes that he doesn't know his name.

"What's your name?" He asks and winces at how childlike his voice sounds outside in the cold air.  
The guy turns to him and looks up at him curiously like he wasn't expecting that question.

"Keith. So, what's yours?"

As they make their way through the almost deserted streets they fall into making small talk. Keith is few years older than Jared, old enough to be just out of college and starting his new job. A freaking grown-up really, but he doesn't seem too bothered with Jared being underage.

Keith's place isn't far off and Jared is almost relieved as he isn't sure he'd handle sobering up more than he already has before going to bed with Keith. Once they're inside, Keith doesn't appear to be one for ceremony and starts undressing. Jared follows suit and soon Keith is pulling him naked onto his bed.

They meet in a kiss, their lips crushing, but Jared feels like he should do something other than move his hands down Keith's torso so he straddles him and starts licking at his neck, down his chest, gently grazing the skin with his teeth. He isn't taking it slow, moving down Keith's body with almost maddening speed, not wanting to stop and think. So without thought, he takes Keith's almost flaccid dick in his hand, stroking it before touching the tip with his tongue. It tastes salty and bitter, slightly unpleasant but not so bad that he can't suck the cock into his mouth. It takes a bit of effort to keep his teeth out of the way, his lips pushing out instead of curling over the teeth. Then it hits the back of his throat and he inhales. He feels his throat spasm and he gags, feeling like an absolute idiot. Keith doesn't seem to think much of it, his head is thrown back as he rests on his elbows. So Jared braves taking him in his mouth again, keeping his hand wrapped around the base. He wants to get Keith off, he wants to know how it is to have someone else come because of something you did to them but it is taking a lot longer than he anticipated. It's not only his hand that is cramping; it's hard to kneel on the bed like he's been doing for this long and his mouth strangely is both numb and aching at the same time.

When Keith finally comes, Jared jerks his head automatically and only a tiny drop of Keith's release catches his lips, the rest ends up leaking down over his hand.

Jared raises himself up, sitting on his heels and feeling utterly unsure about what to do next. Keith seems to be a bit out of it, lying back with his arm raised over his head. As Jared starts to wonder if he should just get up and get dressed, Keith seems to come to and grabs him and pulls him down for a kiss. Perhaps it shouldn't be called a kiss, as they are rubbing their tongues together, their mouths open. It's something so obscene about it, some so dirty that Jared can't help but feel aroused. His dick is somewhere between half-hard and soft and it's definitely growing more interested. If he didn't have all this alcohol pumping through his veins, he'd be at full mast already. Keith appears to have some incredible recovery time as he's stroking his cock and it's almost hard again.

When they break the kiss, Jared feels the saliva all over his lips and kind of wants to wipe it off like a kid wipes off a kiss from an old aunt. He resists though as Keith is moving them around in the bed, pushing him higher in the bed, so he's kneeling on all fours. Not wanting to think about where this could be leading, he drops his head. Keith isn't much for touching him. Quickly he settles his hands on Jared's buttocks and pulls the cheeks apart. Jared doesn't know what to expect, perhaps spit-wet fingers pushing into him but then he has to fight back a yelp when he feels Keith's tongue on his opening. He wasn't born yesterday, he knows about rimming but he had always felt it had to be this intimate act between long-time lovers, not something you did with a guy you just picked up at a party. It feels weird and Jared knows he's tensing up, making it harder for Keith to push in but apparently he's not going to give up; he ends up somehow opening Jared up slightly with his tongue and one finger. It doesn't feel particularly good but not bad enough that Jared feels the need to ask him to stop. This goes on and Jared is kind of getting bored. Actually it feels like more he's a casual observer, like Keith isn't doing it to his body but to someone else's.

This view of his changes suddenly when he feels Keith raise himself up behind him and he feels something blunt and a lot broader than the fingers in the cleft of his ass. A part of him wants to cry _no, no, no._ But he doesn't get the words out, maybe because a bigger part of him wants to know how penetration actually feels. When it's a dick and not fingers, not his fingers or Keith's. The pressure feels strange, like his nerves are acting like transmitters, leading the sensation out into his body; this strange feeling of pressure and then pain that he feels almost up into his throat. And it grows and grows as Keith penetrates further. This has to end up feeling fucking fantastic at some point or on a subsequent try because who would want to do this if it felt like this all the time? He can't keep in the groans but they sound half strangled like he doesn't have any air in his lungs anymore.

His arms are beginning to shake and Jared tries his hardest to control the tremors, he doesn't really think much about whether Keith is getting off or not. He feels the stabbing, shallow thrusts and hears his grunts. There is a certain tinge of frustration to his grunts but he doesn't relent right away. The same feeling washes over Jared again, like he's waiting for a boring class to be over and the time just drags on and on.

Keith gives up. On the assfucking that is. As he moves away, Jared allows himself to drop down, hoping that it's over. He's been sobering up so fast that his head is spinning and he wants to go to sleep or even have a shower, but Keith is crawling up the bed in front of him, pushing his dick in his face. Jared's jaws are still aching from last time but he still opens his mouth to take Keith in. He is so tired and is longing so much for this all to be over that he grabs the length of the cock a little too hard and Keith gasps in pain, causing him to let go right away. Lifting his head, he looks up at Keith, wondering if he should dare to ask him to call it quits. But Keith pushes his dick in his face again and resting on his hands, Jared takes him again into his mouth. The pain in his jaws starts spreading over his face, his cheeks ache and he feels his breathing becoming even more labored. He wonders if Keith notices, if he thinks he's into it or something. Time begins to drag again and all he ends up feeling is the ache in his face and his arms that have begun straining under his weight. If only he knew how to stop in a polite way. After all, he had initiated the whole thing. Not the kiss but he could have broken that off. It was him who had reached down Keith's pants.

If Keith would just come already. Maybe he is just that bad, his blowjob technique that awful.  
Lifting his head, slipping Keith's cock out of his mouth, Jared takes deep breath. His whole face smarts and he barely manages to catch himself before he falls completely down onto the mattress, completely drained.

And finally Keith catches on. Raising himself a bit up, he grabs his own dick and starts jerking off with fast strokes. Jared is so exhausted that he is able to keep the feeling of failure at bay. With great effort, he holds his head up, thinking about how these things always end up with money shot in porn.  
It comes, the money shot that is. Not like in porn where it's usually great globs of come all over. Instead Jared feels slight wetness on his chin and nose. Reaching with his fingers, he wipes it off and then licks it off. Truth be told, he thinks his own come tastes better but then again he's pretty sure Keith smokes and he has read somewhere that makes ejaculate taste even bitterer. Not that he's going to tell him that.

He crawls up the bed and flops down besides Keith who apparently is feeling cuddly, pulling Jared towards him and throwing his arm around him. It feels strange that Keith is suddenly so attentive, seeing how he seemed to only care about his own release. Jared knows girls complain about this a lot but he'd believed that with two guys, there would be more familiarity with the plumbing so to speak. Not that he's dying to come or anything; he wants to sleep. Maybe shower first and then sleep for about a hundred years or so. There's no alcohol buzz lingering and he's probably going to wake up aching all over.

His eyelids flutter closed and his grasp on consciousness is slipping.

Keith doesn't seem to want him to sleep. He is pulling his face up for a kiss and Jared can't do it anymore. He turns his head away and pushes away from Keith. His guts are starting to twist with emotion and he wants away.

Getting up, he scrambles for his clothes, finding most of them in a heap on the floor next to the bed. He jumps around, trying to put them on, wanting to get away as fast as he can.

"Hey, slow down. No need to hurry, it's hardly morning yet."

Jared looks at Keith, wondering whether to admit to him that he feels that the whole thing was a huge mistake and at that moment he can't think of anything he regrets doing more. But he doesn't tell him. He simply squeezes his feet into his shoes and pats his pockets to see if he's got his belongings with him.

And then he leaves.

Thankfully Keith's place isn't that far from Chad's house. Jared reckons it would take him about twenty minutes to walk there, so he runs and makes it in ten. His body doesn't really have the energy for it but he pushes. His thighs ache and he wants to scream with the effort. But he also doesn't want to wake up the people in the houses that line the streets he runs, like he's a crazy morning jogger who forgot to put on a t-shirt and sweatpants.

His breath is short and he doubles over in effort to breathe deeper. Looking up at Chad's window, he doesn't see a light. Maybe he went home with the girl, maybe he's asleep but Jared needs to get inside. He's not going home in the state he's in.

Chad answers his cell almost immediately.

"Chad, you at your house?"

"Course I am. I thought … I'm coming to let you in."

Chad doesn't say anything when he lets Jared in, just gives him a sweeping look and frowns. Jared looks at his friend and wonders if he thinks he's a total idiot.

When they come up to Chad's room, Jared looks at Chad's en suite bathroom. He's bone tired and wants most of all to sleep for at least a century but he feels dirty and disgusting.

"Can I take a shower?"

Chad simply nods.

It's in the shower Jared tries to assess what the hell he'd been doing. Touching his body, he thinks about Keith's hands, mouth and dick. He hadn't said no, he had allowed Keith to touch him, to fuck him. He'd even given him a blowjob and yet the regret is burning a hole in his stomach and the tears are starting to sting his eyes.

Stepping out of the shower he haphazardly dries himself off with a towel he presumes is clean and grabs sweatpants he knows Chad won't mind lending him.

"So you went home with that guy?"

Chad is waiting for him, sitting on his bed with his legs crossed like he's waiting for a good explanation. Jared turns to him and then away to drag forth Chad's sleeping bag from his closet. He's used that sleeping bag countless of times when he's stayed over at Chad's and it fills him with comfort to have something so familiar and something so connected to him being just a kid, an innocent freaking kid who doesn't make monumentally bad decisions.

"What do you think?" Jared says as he rolls out the sleeping bag.

"I was just asking … Jay, did something happen?"

"Why do you think that?" He says, the words rushing out of his mouth.

"Jay …"

"OK, stuff happened. I lost my freaking virginity to a guy I'd only know for a couple of hours tops. Just my finest hour really." Jared grabs a large pillow from Chad's bed and throws it to the floor.

Chad is silent and Jared can't stand the way he's looking at him.

"What about you? What about that girl?" Jared asks, hoping to shift Chad's attention.

"She just went to her place, I suppose. I kind of have the feeling she realized just how young I was when we went outside. But Jay … you sure you're okay?"

He doesn't lie to Chad. He's never lied to Chad and there's no reason to start now since Chad has never judged him – not ever.

"I don't know. I just … didn't expect to be like this."

"What, over too fast or something?"

"Oh, lord no. Chad, it was like it took forever. I mean, for him to get off. First I blew him and it was so hard … I …" Jared falters, wondering how much detail Chad can handle. He wants to tell him everything, he wants to tell someone.

Chad seems to sense there's something more and keeps silent.

"So yeah, he comes and is almost ready to start again right away and he … he tries to fuck me." Jared chokes on the words, it feels stupid to use that word, fuck, about himself. "It's like … 'cause I've never … and it's tight and it hurts and he can't really get it in … you know what I mean. But he keeps going for the longest time … and then he stops … and Chad, I don't know why … I blew him again. After he'd been in my ass. I just … so fucking stupid … god, no condom." He hides his face in his hands. He is fucking stupid, colossally moronic.

Lying on the sleeping bag he turns away from Chad. He can't fight the tears, he's too exhausted. The sobs he does try to fight but when he feels Chad's hand on his shoulder, he lets go.

____spacer____

  
There's a quiz bowl team meeting on a Sunday, because the final is looming on the horizon and they need to be prepared.

Prepared isn't what Jared's feeling right now. He feels achy, his head throbs despite the Tylenol Chad gave him and most of all, he just wants to die. His chest literally hurts with his disappointment in himself. He definitely doesn't want to see the other quiz bowl kids. Not Sandy who seemed to have the good sense to stay the hell away from Alexis' party. Not Alexis herself; he's still feeling a bitter towards her and how she mostly ignored him all night at the party. Not Danneel, though he does have the urge to tell Danneel what happened. And least of all does he want to see Jensen and be reminded that he probably blew every chance he'd ever had with Jensen by being too chicken-shit to even talk to him at Alexis' party and then of course by having a stupid one night stand.

Yes, he wants to die.

He walks to the school, hoping that some fresh air would make him feel at least physically better.

Big, fat fucking chance.

He has to sit down like an old man with a hemorrhoid and Danneel looks at him like she can't decide whether to laugh at him or go get him a cushion.

The meeting itself goes pretty well. Alexis obviously wants to keep it short and Jared is betting that she's almost as hung over as he is. Apparently he's not bad at answering questions and being his walking encyclopedia self even though his brain is trying its best to divorce his skull and every muscle in his body is protesting loudly.

To his massive relief, Jensen doesn't show up. He's nauseated as it is and having Jensen there would probably make it feel worse.

When they finally escape the meeting, Danneel practically drags him into her car.

"Jared Tristan Padalecki, please don't tell me that you are coming down with the flu so close to the final. Please tell me that you are simply hung over."

He looks at her, not knowing what expression he's giving her but the look on her face changes from annoyed and concerned to something that could only be called compassion.

"Oh, sweetie. What happened? What did you and Chad do after you left Alexis' place?"

Knowing that he could trust Danneel and considering how miserable he is still feeling, he starts telling her what happened.

She listens solemnly, very much like Chad and doesn't inject anything until she senses he's said what he wanted to say. He shifts in the passenger sheet, trying to find a comfortable position and trying to stifle the sobs he's about to burst into.

Without speaking a word, Danneel pulls him into a hug, her hands stroking his back and he can't help but burrowing his face in her hair, unable to stifle his tears.

What he's really crying about, he still doesn't understand, but he's glad that neither Chad nor Danneel want to press him for any more details. He's getting snot and tears all over Danneel's shirt but she simply takes it in stride and he can hear her murmuring almost inaudibly that things will be okay. That's something he knows; sleeping with someone you don't know all that well isn't going to end the world. It may very well be the single most stupid thing he's ever done but it's over and done with now and he can't take it back.

"You okay?" Danneel asks him when he's finally stopped.

"For now," he says, trying to wipe away the wet spots on Danneel's shoulder.

"Leave it. I'm gonna take you home now and you are going to go to bed. I'm not promising that this will be all better tomorrow but at least you won't be hung over then."

"Yeah. Danny, did Jensen leave with that guy he came with?"

"Jason? Yes, but I actually think he's Jensen's roommate so that's nothing weird." She winks at Jared and he can't help but laughing.

____spacer____

  
Then the quiz bowl final is upon them and Jared puts what happened with Keith into the back of his mind and concentrates on having all the facts figured out.

Jensen is very impressed with him at their last one-on-one meeting for the final when Jared manages to name all the presidents and the vice-presidents of the USA without ever hesitating.

"You've got this down to an art," he remarks and Jared can't deny that his heart jumps just a tiny bit at that remark.

When it's finally the time for the final itself, Jared feels the exactly right amount of tension and Danneel seems to be in the same place. Sandy is ultra focused as always. For the first half of the competition everything is looking up for them. The other team is good and no one can really claim to have the lead at this point. But Lady Luck is a flighty mistress and at the second to last question, the tide turns.

"Thanks to information theory and Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, the possibility of its existence was disproven in the 20th century. What controls a trap door that opens for fast molecules from one side and slow molecules from the other? This imaginary creature was dreamed up to question the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Name this diabolical entropy-increasing entity imagined by the same person who unified theories of electromagnetism."

Jared and Sandy look at Danneel who is in charge of the chemistry and physics knowledge. Judging by the look in her eyes, she isn't sure. Jared feels he should know this as well but somehow all his science knowledge has been channeled away.

And the other team gets the buzzer and gives the answer which is Maxwell's Demon. It's like the lights go out in Danneel's eyes. If they get the next question, they'll tie.

Maybe because of Danneel freezing up and maybe because he couldn't handle the pressure of being in the quiz bowl finals, Jared doesn't realize that the last question is being read until he hears the last words of it.

"…by this author who also wrote _Foucault's Pendulum_."

He panics. Are they asking for the author or for another book title? Danneel looks at him and so does Sandy. Actually Sandy seems more like she's trying to extract the answer from him with some kind of mind reading as she's probably assuming that the same brain freezing that was affecting Danneel is affecting Jared.

The other team hits the buzzer and of course they were asking for a title, _Name of the Rose_. Jared can't help but groan. It's one of his favorite books, maybe because it took him about a month to get through it.

Fuck, they've lost. Sandy's determined face crumbles into dismay, Danneel mutters a curse word under her breath and Jared can't help but feel that this is all his fault. Only if he'd done a little bit better and focused more.

Alexis, Mr. Rosenbaum and Jensen are also rather forlorn when the team comes off the stage.

"This could have gone better," Alexis says, trying to look stern but her disappointment is discernible.

"What happened with you, Danny?" Jensen asks softly and Danneel just shrugs in surrender.

"Sometimes you can't bring it," Jared says and Jensen nods.

They all stand there silently for a minute or two while the other team and their entourage skip off singing their school anthem.

____spacer____

  
Life miraculously returns to normal.

Sure, their schoolmates are a little disappointed that they should lose the final but that's all forgotten the next week when the basketball team loses the chance to get to the state championships.

Somehow that's a bigger blow to the student population than a few nerds not knowing the answer to some questions in a quiz bowl showdown no one attended any way.

Not that Jared takes much notice. The teachers had apparently been sparing him homework before and now they are piling it on. A presentation and yet another essay from _A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man_. Jared is certain he must have done something terrible to James Joyce in his former life when he writes about the symbolic meaning behind Stephen Dedalus's name.

Then the summer holidays are upon them and Jared has many weeks of no school ahead of him.

Thankfully he manages to procure himself a summer job. Last summer he didn't have a job and besides the lack of money, it was really boring to hang around all day and having to make your own fun. It's fun for a couple of weeks but not the entire summer holidays. Not when your parents have to work and all you have for company is your kid sister. Jared loves Megan dearly but knows that another summer like that might've put a damper on his affections.

So instead he is employed by Erasmus's Necessities, an independent bookstore that supplies college students and the anti-establishment types. This college town has more than enough of those and amongst them is Misha, one of Jared's co-workers.

Jared doesn't have a crush on Misha. It's more like he thinks Misha is the coolest guy ever to walk the planet. He is definitely the guy Jared wants to be when he gets into his twenties. Got his college degree early and then spent a few years globe-trotting and obviously learning few things on the way.

Like Tibetan throat singing and the Faroese language.

He even has the habit of greeting costumers in Faroese. "Góðan dag. Hvussu gongur?" When you are the store manager, you can obviously allow yourself to be quite silly to the customers.

All in all, Jared really likes his job. Sometimes it's crazy hectic and he has to run around the entire day looking for copies of _The Last Unicorn_ when he's not recommending Kierkegaard to someone who wants to read something that makes them think.

Other days can be so slow that all they can to do, to kill time, is to take stock and tidy the store up.  
And somewhere between the self-help section and the travel guides, Jared becomes friends with Misha.

"Hand me all the Canada books," Misha prompts when they are dusting the shelves in the travelling section on a very slow day. "Say, tell me something interesting. What does Jared Padalecki like to do? Besides the whole trivia buff thing, I mean."

"Just stuff." Jared shrugs and almost drops a book about Ontario on the floor.

"Please, feel free to elaborate on this 'just stuff'. Does it involve something scandalous like writing dirty emails to the heads of state in small European countries or do you use your powers for good and help run a shelter for blind sea monkeys?"

"Oh, we can't all be as exciting as you, Misha."

"Any torrid affairs in your past? You secretly someone's trophy wife? You had a drunken one night stand and woke up next to your school's mascot?" Despite the jest in Misha's voice and the light tone of their conversation, Jared clearly isn't completely over what happened after Alexis' birthday party and the mention of a drunken one night stand is enough to invoke that memory. Misha doesn't miss the slight wince Jared does.

"Anything you want to tell me? I'm curious but if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to talk about it." The tone in Misha's voice makes Jared want to tell him – there's concern and understanding and Jared knows that Misha won't judge him.

"That's okay. I had just had a very stupid drunken one night stand not so long ago. I'm mostly over it though."

"Oh. Aren't you seventeen? That's kind of young to be having stupid drunken one night stands."

"Seventeen next month actually."

"Oh, kid," Misha says softly.

"You don't have to be sorry for me."

"That wasn't convincing."

"Okay, I wasn't ready for it at all and I kind of did it because I was drunk and stupid and a little heartbroken. And the sex itself was awful." Jared isn't quite sure why he's feeling like sharing and hides his face behind _100 Exciting Hiking Trails in Alberta_. "I think I went against everything everyone tells you your first time should be like. An unprotected drunken one night stand with a complete stranger. What, that ticks about four don'ts, doesn't it?"

"We all do things we shouldn't do," Misha says as he leans against the shelves. "Stop beating yourself up."

"You know, I think I'm most angry at myself for allowing it to go as far as it went. It could have been a drunken make-out and a bad hand job at the most. I just didn't want to be a cock tease."

Misha doesn't seem to be thrown off at all, knowing that Jared had his one night stand with another guy. He merely quirks his eyebrows and looks Jared straight in the eyes.

"You are sixteen. You are supposed to be a cock tease. You are supposed to say enough when you think it's enough. Please never think that you owe someone something in bed because you flirted with them, kissed them, got a hand job from them…"

"No, I gave him a hand job," Jared hastens to say, like he feels that Misha must not get the wrong impression.

"Kid, seriously. You control your own body. Sure, sex is kind of a mutual thing where people try to pleasure each other but it's not like every orgasm comes with an IOU."

Jared looks back down on _100 Exciting Hiking Trails in Alberta_. He knows all this – it's another matter whether or not he believes it.

"Yeah," he sighs. "I suppose you are right."

Misha slaps him on the back and tells him that he must go and alphabetize the Europe section – preferably by their official titles in the native languages.

"Let them know it's called Magyar Köztársaság."

____spacer____

  
In the summertime all of his friends scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the light. Danneel goes away for couple of weeks to Mexico with her family and Chad goes off to some kind of basketball camp. Jared finds himself almost left alone because he isn't going anywhere during the summer. He does learn that he isn't completely alone when Jensen calls him up one night, mostly just to chat. Jensen has a summer job as well, at the local paper. He bitches to Jared about doing pieces about the local craft fair and the new recycling plan that the city council is installing.

"I know it's a great experience and there's only a slim chance I'll ever become a journalist at a major paper but why did they make me write about The Summer Delight Perfect Garden Competition? I think I've learned more about geraniums in the last two days than I ever wanted to know about anything."

"Hey, at least you'll appreciate it more when you get to cover the more exciting stuff, like a bocce tournament or something."

"Hilarious, Jared, you slay me. I thought you'd be sympathetic. Is there no one who understands my plight? Jason told me earlier as he was going out with his girlfriend that I should be glad my job is at least related to what I'm studying. 'Cause he and his girlfriend are music majors and they are both working at the golf club."

He can't help it. As soon as Jensen mentions that Jason has a girlfriend, he does a little fist bump into the air. Not that Jason having a girlfriend makes it any more likely that Jensen will fall for him but it does kindle a spark of hope.

"You can complain all you want to me. I work in retail now, I'm used to it. Just today a customer, a fifty year old man, asked why we didn't display the Twilight books more prominently. Your complaints can't be more stupid than that."

"Please tell me you said something snarky. Seriously, did the guy really think a store called Erasmus's Necessities would actually flaunt the fact that you can buy shitty books about sparkly vampires there?"

"You actually think people get the name of the store?"

"No, perhaps not."

They continue their phone conversations over the next weeks. Jared who normally isn't very quick to answer his phone has started to knock things down in his haste to get to his phone when it rings, so whenever it's Chad or his mom calling, he gets a tiny bit disappointed.

____spacer____

  
It's July before he knows it and Chad is back from the basketball camp and has started dropping hints that Jared should celebrate his birthday in style.

"I don't have my birthday until August and we need a party now, not after a billion weeks. It doesn't have to be big. Just get your geek squad and that dude you are working with and can't shut up about. Dude, if I didn't know you were still all in love and shit with Jensen, I would be so sure you had your next big gay crush."

Jared laughs. He has the feeling that Chad might be jealous because he's been talking so much about Misha.

Throwing a party isn't going to a problem, not when his parents have already suggested he should bring his friends over for his birthday. He's sure that the difference between him and Jeff sometimes throws them off. Before Jeff went off to college, his huge horde of friends drifted through the house on a regular basis and Jared is certain his parents think he's lonely, despite all the time he has spent on the quiz bowl team, with Chad, and everyone else.

So getting their consent for a party was the easy thing. They even plan to be away for the duration of the night.

Inviting people isn't a big deal either, except Jared seems to be unable to extend an invitation to Jensen.

They've been calling each other once a week or so, sharing stories about their jobs and such and it shouldn't be an impassable obstacle for Jared to pick up the phone and invite Jensen. All he can see in his mind's eye is some kind of a nightmare scenario where Jensen laughs derisively at him when Jared invites him and tells him there's no way in hell he'd ever show up at some pathetic high school party. Logically he knows that Jensen would probably be super nice if he had to turn down the invitation but logic isn't enough at the moment.

When he finally bites the bullet and calls Jensen, he can hardly hear Jensen's greeting for the thundering in his ears.

"Jay, was about to call you. They finally gave me something with substance to write about. Local history, murder mystery, family tragedy, the works, mostly because there aren't more garden shows to write about and they had to have me do something. Of course that means I've been spending the last couple of days at the city archives with old court documents. So please tell me something fun that doesn't involve a coroner's report." Jensen sounds a bit like he hasn't had the pleasure of talking to another human being for a long time.

"I... I'm going to throw a birthday party and I was wondering whether you wanted to come. You don't have to. It's not a big deal or anything, not a billion people you've never met. Chad, Danneel, maybe Sandy if she isn't busy and Alexis and maybe my brother and a few other friends." He rushes everything out and waits for Jensen's answer.

"Oh cool, when is your birthday?"

"On the 19th but the party will be on Saturday."

"I'm there. Believe me. Anything I should bring? Need someone to visit the liquor store for you?"

"Great. I do think we have the booze covered. There isn't going to be a lot of it. My parents are nice enough to allow the party and I don't want anything to get out of hand."

"I'll help you. I'll control Sandy. You take the rest." He could hear the laughter in Jensen's voice.

"You are kind of a jerk, did you know that?"

____spacer____

  
Jared tries his best to fight the nerves. He shouldn't be nervous – there are just few of his good friends coming over but he feels he must give a good impression, like he's a corporate hot shot who needs to suck up to his bosses in hopes of getting a promotion.

Uncharacteristically Chad is the first one to arrive and he takes one look at Jared's face and bursts out laughing.

"Dude, this is a party, not your funeral. Lighten up and tell me where you are keeping the snacks. I'm starving."

Chad plants himself on the living room couch with his feet on the coffee table and a bag of Doritos.

"Where's the party music? I need to get my swerve on here."

"While sitting on the couch, Chad?"

"Hey, I'm saving it. Can't go and spend it all in one go. Go and put some Britney on, bitch."

"Shut up and eat your Doritos."

Danneel and Sandy show up together. Sandy has her laptop with her but Jared has known her for years and knows that Sandy hates idle moments. Her latest pet project, apparently, is making a searchable database of quiz bowl questions.

As Jared dares to bring out the drinks his brother was so kind to buy for him, Misha shows up and he's the first one who seems to have bothered with a birthday present.

"Here, I thought you might need one of those." Misha's present is a t-shirt that reads: 'Save water, shower with me.'

"Thanks, I guess," Jared says, eyeing the t-shirt suspiciously. He's never been into funny t-shirts and Misha doesn't seem to be the type either. The message on the t-shirt almost feels ominous.

Jensen shows up shortly after that and Jared hastens to hide the t-shirt, not sure exactly why he's doing it though. Like Misha, Jensen comes bearing a birthday present.

"Sorry, didn't know what to give you," Jensen says as he thrusts couple of hastily wrapped shot glasses into Jared's hands.

"Awesome. My first pair of shot glasses," Jared says, trying his uttermost to play it cool. He puts the glasses away in a safe place.

Being a host is kind of tiring, even if all he's doing is serving a little more than a handful of people drinks and making sure there's enough dip on the table and that Chad is not putting his fingers into it. He can't really engage in the conversation, only catching bits here and there.

Misha and Danneel seem to hit it off and Jensen is sitting with Sandy and her laptop and the database project of doom. Chad and his other friends are laughing and probably discussing basketball while Alexis sits by them and listens. She's somehow so awkward sitting there, like she really wants to talk to Chad and the guys but has no idea how to enter the conversation.

"Hey, Alexis, wanna come and help me in the kitchen?" Jared asks in the spur of the moment. She smiles and nods but gives a lingering look back at Chad and the guys before entering the kitchen with Jared.

Jared's mother had prepared pigs-in-a-blanket and some sort of mini pizzas that Jared has to heat up and Alexis helps him. Not much, as she's about five times slower than Jared moving the mini pizzas to the baking tray.

"So, Chad is serious about the basketball?"

"Hmm, I guess so," Jared says, finishing off the first tray.

"Is he aiming to get a scholarship or something like that? Like you know, to State or something?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know himself. Why are you wondering?"

"Oh, just curious, you know," she says, poking at the food processor on the counter.

"Okay." Jared keeps on getting the food into the oven. Alexis watches him for a while and then disappears back into the living room.

As the evening progresses, Jared hasn't really had the opportunity to sit down. He does manage to drink a couple of beers while flitting about, though.

"Hey," Jensen comes up to him as he's changing the music - the party playlist apparently wasn't long enough. "So Sandy has put a lot of work into that database. Like a crazy amount."

Jared nods as he scrolls through his iTunes playlists, trying to find something fun. He has way too much classical music on there because he likes listening to it when he's studying.

"You are like the most responsible host I've ever seen," Jensen says.

"Hmm?" Jared says, feeling a bit distracted as he hurries to scroll quickly over the playlist he uses when he's feeling a particularly lovesick.

"I mean, most people would have brought out a couple of bags of chips and a big bag of Skittles and thought it would be quite adequate but you have this whole Betty Crocker thing going on. I'm impressed, I have to say."

"Oh, Mom just thought I couldn't let my guests starve. I want this to be a nice party."

"This is your seventeen year old birthday party, dude. All you should be thinking about it having fun and getting laid."

Jared almost chokes on his beer and ends up accidentally inhaling it into his nose.

"Oh, youth. So sweet and innocent."

Jared can't help but blush.

"Very funny," he mutters as he wipes his nose with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Hey, Jared!" Alexis slides up to him. "Is there something more I can do?" She seems very eager to help now.

"Uhm, you could help me a bit more in the kitchen. I need to put stuff away," Jared says reluctantly, looking down at Alexis.

There isn't much that needs to be done in the kitchen so Alexis ends up sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of beer in her hand and looking like she wanted Jared to sit next to her.

Warily he sits down with her, also with a beer in hand which would be his fourth that evening. She starts telling him all about her first year at college, down to how many lecture notes she wrote down in one of her lectures and exactly how many pages there are in her Introduction to Engineering textbook. Since Jared has never planned on ever studying engineering, his interest is limited. Still, he feels like Alexis must need to get this off her chest and have a sympathetic ear listening to her. He just wishes it wasn't his sympathetic ear, at least not on his birthday.

They end up sitting there for a long time because when Jared gets up to get his sixth beer, Danneel, Sandy and Jensen all poke their heads into the kitchen.

"So we were thinking of heading home. Early start for some of us and stuff."

Jared springs up. Seeing that it's almost two in the morning, he knows he can't make them stay but he didn't plan spending almost the whole evening hearing about how hard the freshman year in Engineering is.

Seeing Danneel, Sandy and Jensen leaving, Chad and the others head home as well and finally it's only Misha and Alexis who are left.

"Hey, I'm going home. Alexis, isn't it? Want a ride or something?" Misha asks.

"No, no. I live close by. Jared, maybe you can just walk me home? I mean, the weather is so nice and you can sober up a bit."

Misha looks at Jared with a raised eyebrow but Jared can't do anything but shrug. He's not sure exactly why Alexis wants him to walk her home but she does live close by. It's only three blocks away and Jared isn't too good to walk her home.

____spacer____

  
Jared has no idea how they ended up in the park instead of in front of Alexis' house. The park is submerged in the heavy and hot summer darkness. As they make their way into it, it feels like the park will swallow them whole. Somewhere far in, somewhere between the big oak tree and the gazebo in the heart of the park, Alexis stops.

"Let's sit down here," she says and sits down on a backless bench. Jared sits down, the bench almost uncomfortably low for him; his knees almost at chin level.

The alcohol is still buzzing in his veins, so he really doesn't think much of it, after they have sat there for few minutes in a strange sort of silence, when Alexis takes his hand, weaving her delicate fingers with his large ones. He merely stares at their hands and through the drunken haze marvels at the difference in size. Alexis' hand feels like a child's hand even though she's older than him. He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't have time to react when Alexis pulls down his face and kisses him. It's not a sweet little peck, no, it's a teeth-clicking, tongue-shoving French kiss and while his first instinct is to bite the tongue invading his mouth, he does possess enough presence of mind to just push her gently away.

"No," he says in a clear voice. He really wants to say 'I'm gay' but that's almost not relevant. "We are just friends."

Alexis looks at him. She doesn't exactly look hurt, rather slightly confused. Jared gets the distinct feeling that she had planned to throw herself at him. That makes him uncomfortable; they have been friends for a few years and he has never felt any interest on her part before. Hell, she sometimes asked about Chad and he had thought he'd detected a certain interest in those inquiries.

She turns away from him and stares ahead and Jared feels like he should say something but he doesn't want to. Saying 'we are just friends' implies so much without directly saying it; telling her that he isn't attracted to her at all.

The silence between them is stifling, just as oppressive as the warm summer darkness surrounding them. After several minutes, Alexis springs to her feet and looks at him.

It's only polite to follow suit. When they reach the gate to the park, she stops and looks straight up at him, very determined.

"Give me your phone." This is a demand and he feels compelled to comply though he can't really think of a reason why she would need his phone. He's pretty sure her own phone is packed away in the purse she's carrying.

She pokes at the phone and Jared starts to wonder if he should be worried about her reading some incriminating texts, but her fingers are flicking through too fast for that.

"Goddamn, Jared, I can't understand your phone. Where's the phonebook?"

And he suddenly understands. Grabbing his phone back, he opens up the phonebook, scrolls through it and brings up the number he knows she's seeking.

As he's about to hand the phone back, she's busy rummaging around in her purse for her own phone. Keys jangle and cosmetics containers clash together as her rummaging grows almost violent.

Something falls out and when Jared sees what it is, his face heats up.

It's a condom. All wrapped up in a shiny foil.

Alexis doesn't seem to have noticed. She triumphantly grabs Jared's phone back when she has found her own.

"How did you know?" She asks as she sees Chad's number high-lighted on the screen of Jared's phone.

He doesn't really answer her; he's too busy pretending not to notice the condom lying on the ground.

When she hands him back his phone, he tries to make it seem as he's extremely interested in his phonebook. From the corner of his eye, he sees her sidestep a little.

"You gonna get going?" Her voice is definitely impatient. He fights a snort wanting to burst out of him.

"You don't want me to walk you home?" He asks, trying to sound all casual.

"Jared, I can take care of myself." Her voice is clipped and he couldn't go for broke here. He'd turned her down earlier, no need for him to let her know that he knew exactly how far she'd been expecting to go with him.

Turning on his heel, he walks away. Several yards down the street he turns and sees her, still standing at the park gates, the streetlights illuminating her.  



	3. Intelligence Quota

_**Intelligence Quota - Part 3** _

His jaw is stiff when he wakes up. He wonders whether it's some sort of a strange hangover until he realizes he's literally crawling out of his skin and he feels like there are burning holes in his gut. Turning, he presses his face into the pillow, trying to bat away any thoughts of the night before. He isn't ready to face the disappointment so early – not when he's groggy with sleep and the after-effects of alcohol consumption are still playing havoc his body.

Jared is pretty sure he didn't have some great expectations towards his party. He had just hoped that he'd get a little time to chat to Jensen and that he'd have a good time. And he had until Alexis whisked him off to have some sort of a heart to heart in the kitchen and then she had gone completely off her rocker. All he can think of are Alexis and Chad and how he's suddenly stuck in the middle of something he really doesn't want to a part of. He loves Chad like a brother but when it comes to his love life Jared wants nothing to do with it and he can feel in his bones that if Alexis has the courage to contact Chad, Chad will be seeking his advice.

What the hell is he supposed to say? Alexis isn't a bad person and if she genuinely likes Chad, he can't really tell Chad anything about what happened between him and Alexis. Either way, it feels like one of them would be screwed over.

He longs for a perspective. He longs for someone to hear about the Alexis incident and hear him bitch about how little time he got with Jensen.

So he picks up the phone, knowing it's not too early to call Misha as Misha told him he believed in getting up early.

"Hey, it's me," Jared whispers in the phone when Misha answers.

"Hey, how are you? Hung over?"

"Nah, not really. Feeling almost okay. Physically that is."

"Oh? Something wrong?"

"Not exactly, I just kind of need to vent to someone."

"And poor old me gets to be that lucky someone. No, seriously. Unburden yourself. Dr. Misha is listening."

"Ha ha, so funny. You know how Alexis insisted I'd walk her home."

"Yeah."

"So I did, except she really wanted to go to the park that's close by and sit down there and hold hands with me. And you know, I was drunk and stupid and I didn't think much of holding hands with her."

"Okay, go on."

"She tried to kiss me, with tongue and all."

"Really?" There's genuine surprise in Misha's voice. "She doesn't know you are gay?"

"No, I never told her. I haven't been sharing my private life with her much, even though we've known each other for few years."

"So what did you do? Stopped her and told her you aren't interested in girls?"

"No, I just told her that we were friends and I wanted to keep it like that."

"Like you and Jensen are friends?"

"No, wait, this isn't over."

"Intriguing, tell me more."

"So we get up and it's so fucking awkward and then she asks for my phone and I give her my phone, I thought she didn't have hers with her. Well, apparently she needed my phone to look up Chad's number?"

A peal of giggles comes through from the other end of the line.

"Seriously? She kisses you and then needs some other guy's number? Only met the girl once but never pegged her for a player."

"Wait, I'm not finished."

"Is there more?"

"Yeah," Jared sighs. "So to put Chad's number into her phone, she takes her phone out of her purse and yeah, something falls out onto the ground. A condom."

Misha's giggles have turned into wheezing laughter.

"And what? Can't keep me in suspense here."

"And she didn't notice because she was so eager to put Chad's number into her phone. I had to pretend I didn't see it. I do think she noticed when she gave me back my phone and then she did a little sidestep over it and then she insisted I'd be on my way."

The laughter coming from Misha now has Jared moving the phone a bit away from his ear.

"I swear, I thought that girl was as dull as a bag of bones when I met her and there she was all prepared to get her freak on last night. Oh, Jay-bird, why did you have to go and turn her down?"

"Besides the obvious reason?"

"Girl was prepared and all. Be a gentleman, Mr. Padalecki."

"The thing is, should I tell Chad about this?"

"Tell him what?"

"I presume that Alexis will be calling him and stuff and should I tell him that she kissed me?"

"Hmm, he's your best friend and you should always look out for your friend but I don't know. I think it has to be your call if you can find time to bring it up."

"No help in you then," Jared says petulantly.

____spacer____

  
He ends up not telling Chad, only giving him a warning that Alexis has his number. At first Chad is mildly baffled and curious but the second time they talk about it, Jared can discern a certain interest from Chad.

"She's pretty," Chad says, trying to be off-handed about it.

"Hmm," Jared says. Chad is right but Jared really tries his uttermost not to give an opinion one way or the other.

"I could go on a date with her; we could see a movie or something. And she's older, you know."  
The no-input rule Jared has set himself is already wearing him down and Alexis hasn't even called Chad yet.

She eventually does, though, and Chad starts to get very anxious about the date and the fact that she's older. Jared doesn't think it matters much, he's pretty sure that Chad has more experience than Alexis but he doesn't point it out.

Chad's anxiousness ends up being peanuts in comparison with Alexis' flailing. She calls Jared the day before she and Chad are meant to go out on their first date and with fifteen different questions, she tries to get Jared to answer whether he thinks Chad likes her or will like her. Jared's urge to throw his cell phone into the wall during that conversation wasn't nearly as strong, though, as it was when she called him after the date and wanted him to analyze every sentence Chad had said during the course of the evening.

It would be just his luck if they decided to get married.

____spacer____

  
"Hey." The voice on the phone is soft and it takes Jared a couple of seconds to recognize it as he'd grabbed the phone without looking at the display, sure it was Chad.

"Hey, Jensen," he inhales and immediately feels stupid because it makes him sound like he'd been running or something worse.

"Am I interrupting something?" He definitely detects mirth in Jensen's voice.

"He he, no. I thought you were Chad."

"Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not Chad."

"God, don't be sorry. Chad has kind of been driving me crazy."

"More than usual?"

"Yeah," Jared says, almost bursting into complaints about the entire Chad-Alexis drama, but catches himself at the last moment.

"I just wanted to call you to thank you for the party. I just… it would have been great if I'd had more time to talk to you. Alexis kind of hi-jacked you."

"Yeah, I'm sorry and I kind of have to admit that the night took downturn after you left."

"Oh, really?"

"Seriously, you don't want to know. How about you?"

"I can concur about the downturn. I just went home."

Jared feels his face grow hot. He had only intended to ask about Jensen's life in general. But it's nice to know that Jensen had enjoyed their conversation.

"You working Friday?" Jensen asks and all thoughts of Chad and Alexis vanish.

"Until three o'clock."

"Cool. I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie and maybe go out for a bite to eat. If you are free after work, that is."

"I…" Jared's tongue is suddenly too big for his mouth. Is Jensen asking him out on a date?

"I'll even pay if you are strapped for cash. I wasn't thinking a steak dinner but you know…"

Jensen is definitely asking him out on a date and Jared feels nauseated, dizzy and stupidly happy, all at once.

"Yeah, I'm up for that."

____spacer____

  
"You high or something?" Misha is leaning on the counter beside Jared, his tone teasing.

"Huh? No!" Jared is indignant.

"Just… you aren't stalking around in a murderous rage like you've been all week. I'm willing to bet a lot of money that Chad and Alexis haven't announced their engagement yet or whatever you are hoping for them. So I thought you might have sought some herbal refreshment to alleviate your worries."

"Chad and Alexis getting engaged would be on par with the Armageddon so no, my improved mood has nothing to do with them."

"Then what?"

Jared looks down at the counter. He hasn't really told anyone that he has a date, he only told his parents that he wouldn't be home for dinner and it feels nice to have something private, something between him and Jensen. But this is Misha and his perceptiveness is like some kind of a sixth sense.

"Oh, this has something to do with Jensen!" Misha's face lights up and Jared can't help but blush.

"So has he declared his undying love for you?"

"Don't be silly, he asked me out on a date… or you know, a date-ish outing."

"Date-ish outing?"

"Just… you know… We are just going to catch a movie and have a burger and…"

"And? How is that not a date? You are both gay and anyone with eyes could seen the sparks flying between you at the party."

"Maybe he's just asking me as a friend."

"Then he would ask you to hang out and watch a Star Trek movie marathon or something like that. Dinner and a movie is a classic date set-up."

"Okay, okay, then I'm going on a date with Jensen. You satisfied?"

"Extremely. I may require all the sordid details from you later."

Jared snickers but Misha's comment gets him thinking and after a minute, he turns to Misha.

"Do you think he's expecting something?"

"Well, he isn't showing yet but I bet it will be a healthy bouncing boy."

"I'm trying to be serious here."

Misha starts laughing so hard that he has to brace himself against the counter.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm being mean. But what do you really mean with him expecting something?"

There are probably better places to discuss this than the bookstore but Jared is nervous.

"I… do you think he expects sex?"

Pushing himself off the counter, Misha sobers up and looks up at Jared.

"I'm not him so I can't really know what he's expecting but honestly, he shouldn't be expecting anything from you. You need to be little more self-preserving, Jay."

Misha's meaning is clear enough for Jared and he knows that Jensen isn't worth it if he's going to pressure him into sex. It still hurts to be reminded of his own failings though.

____spacer____

  
Dates are probably awkward by default, Jared is sure about that. That has to explain the strange bubbling feeling in his stomach. They are sitting opposite each other in a booth at a small diner which kind of stinks of grease and stale coffee but Jensen promises the fries and the burgers are worth it. Normally their conversation runs easy and Jared thinks he could talk forever with Jensen. But now they are sitting in silence, both looking at the crack in the surface of the table between them.

When the burgers arrive, the silence stretches on further, though with the occasional break where they voice their satisfaction. Jensen has impeccable taste in burgers it seems and if Jared was going to name his last meal right now, the fries they were eating would be a great contender.

Halfway through the meal, Jensen finally finds his tongue though Jared is also struggling with finding words to say.

"You seem out of sorts. Everything okay?"

Jared wants to voice his concerns, wants to ask Jensen whether he's expecting sex tonight but he simply settles for a smile.

"Okay, I'm just going to say this… I mean, I thought of this as a date. Call me crazy but there's something here, a connection, right?" Jensen waves at the space between them. "But are you feeling it?"

A burning hot sensation envelops Jared's middle, like someone is trying to cut him in two with heated tongs. He knows how much he likes Jensen; that he is really in love with him even though he doesn't dare to form that thought. The heat rises in his cheeks and his tongue is literally stuck to the roof of his mouth but somehow, with body language and mumbling, he manages to convey to Jensen that he's feeling the attraction.

"Why are you so quiet then?" Jensen asks.

"I haven't been on a date before and you are … I mean, you are in college and older and used to that…"

"Jay, what are you saying? Shit, I'm not stupid, I know you are only seventeen and while I really like you… god, Jay, I want to get know you a whole lot more before…" Jensen looks at him through his lashes, like he's so shy and the tension that had tied a huge knot in Jared's stomach dissolves.

"I like you a lot too but you have to know that I can't… I'm not ready to sleep with you yet." Jared hadn't really planned to say it outright.

"Dude, that was what I was trying to say as well. I mean, jumping into the sack with someone right away tends to be disappointing at best."

"I know," Jared whispers and he knows his cheeks must be glowing red by now. Jensen's eyes fly open and he looks at him almost challengingly but he doesn't ask the question he's obviously dying to ask.

"I had this one night stand with a guy I met at a party – actually at a party I went to with Chad after we left Alexis' birthday party. Yeah, awkward doesn't even begin to describe it." Jared doesn't look at Jensen but then a strong hand locks around his left wrist.

"Jay, was it your first time?"

"Yeah. So much for saving yourself for that special someone. I'm lucky I remember the guy's name – his first name that is. As idiotic as it sounds, I feel better knowing it was someone called Keith who took my virginity."

Instead of nodding like Jared thought he would, Jensen's grip on him tightens and he is staring wide-eyed at Jared.

"Keith? Dark hair? About five foot ten? Lives on Pine Street?"

Jared nods slowly while his heart hammers so fast that he is sure it will pop out of his ribcage. Then Jensen starts laughing and there is something about his laughter that has Jared's stomach clenching.

"I suppose we are some sort of gay eskimo brothers now."

Jared blinks, not sure what exactly Jensen is telling him.

"Okay, when I came here to start college… You see, I'd had a couple of girlfriends in high school, 'cause as you know, I didn't come out until I came here. You can say I came out the wrong way when I finally did come out. I decided I was going to sleep with the first guy who was interested – to be sure, you know. I hooked up at a party a couple of weeks after I arrived here, with Keith, 'cause he was cute and into me. After that… let's say I was sure I was gay but also sure I wasn't interested in having random hook-ups and that's pretty much what is on offer when you are in college."

"He's the only guy you've ever slept with?"

"I tried the random hook-up thing again – bolted right after giving some guy a sloppy blowjob in the bathroom at a bar."

They are still holding hands and the way Jensen's hand closes over his calms Jared down.

They skip the movie and Jared is secretly relieved – he feels a bit like his insides have been steamrolled. He doesn't understand why, really – knowing that Jensen and he had both slept with same guy shouldn't be some sort of live-changing information. But it is. They suddenly share something so intimate. Sure, he told Chad about it and Jensen's experience with Keith might have been completely different from his, maybe Jensen had topped. Still, just the fact they both have hooked up with Keith at a party is enough to feel connected at a deep level.

They sit at the diner for so long that Jared's butt starts to feel numb. Jensen drives him home and they sit outside of Jared's house in the car in companionable silence for a few minutes. As Jared is gripping the door handle to get out, Jensen puts his hand on his shoulder, getting him to turn around. Leaning forward, Jensen plants a dry, close-mouthed kiss on his lips. They tingle for the rest of the night.

____spacer____

  
If it wasn't for the ballad of Chad and Alexis, Jared's feet wouldn't touch the earth at all. Misha makes fun of him and tells him he's not getting paid to stare off into the air. Jared simply grins at him and tries to get on with whatever he's doing that day.

So maybe it's for the best that he has the task of analyzing every date and every phone call made between Chad and Alexis. He can't even escape getting graphic descriptions of what they get up to on their dates.

"Chad, no, I don't need to know that," he attempts every time Chad needs to share.

"But I don't know if that's normal or if I'm just that bad. I mean, my wrist was starting to cramp when she finally came."

"Too. Much. Information. Seriously."

Alexis thankfully spares him the most intimate details but she is much more concerned with exactly how Chad feels about her and everything she does and says.

"I'm pretty sure that Chad meant it as a casual greeting when he said 'see you later'. I don't think he's dismissing you. Really."

Danneel is unfortunately really not sympathetic to his complaints about being pushed into the role of being the designated relationship advisor.

"If you had told Chad that Alexis kissed you then they probably wouldn't have hooked up."

"Danny, do you really think that Chad would have given it that much thought? I think at the moment he's just into the whole thing of having a girlfriend and an older one at that."

"Oh, men. If he'd just think with his upstairs brain for a second. I just hope this will end before school starts again and Alexis' neurosis will kick into high gear."

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure he'll get tired soon. I mean, he has never lasted for long with a girl."

"You don't say. He has the same attention span as a gnat on acid."

"Yeah, those two need to either start talking to each other instead of me, or break up. I've got my own love life to worry about."

"Oh yeah, you do. One day I'm going to press for details."

____spacer____

  
Jared is actually pretty happy to keep his relationship with Jensen private. At the moment there isn't actually much to tell except that they seem to be able to talk about everything. And kiss. But no one needs reports on long make-out sessions on Jensen's couch and marathon watching of sci-fi shows.  
Those around him who aren't caught up in their own relationship drama often give him a strange smile when he casually mentions he has a date with Jensen.

A couple of weeks before school starts back up for Jared, Jensen comes over to his house. His parents went out of town and took Megan with them. They spend the entire Saturday afternoon lounging in the backyard, each with a book in their hands, reading. It's then and there, when they are both off in their own world that Jared realizes that he, at least, is ready to take the next step.

He doesn't want to come out with a whole 'I want sex, Jensen, make that happen' spiel. Putting away his book, he looks over at Jensen who is still engrossed in _A Clash of Kings_. And he gets a silly idea, a very silly idea.

His cover story is that he's going to get drinks but as he hands Jensen a glass of iced tea, he sees Jensen's gaze fleet upwards from the book and at him.

"You changed," he remarks and then gives the t-shirt Jared's wearing a better look. "I never thought you'd be one to wear a slogan t-shirt."

Jared blushes and almost drops his own glass of iced tea into the grass.

"I…"

Jensen ignores him and reads: "'Save water, shower with me.' Is that an offer?" His voice is playful and it would be easiest thing for Jared to dismiss it as a joke and tell Jensen that he had needed a clean t-shirt and that was the only available. But he doesn't, his face flushes an even deeper shade of red and looking into Jensen's eyes, he nods.

"Oh, wow. Sure you are ready? I mean, I'd love to." And Jensen pulls him down for a kiss.

The shower in Jared's bathroom is actually quite big and this wouldn't be the first time that he's happy about that fact.

The skin on Jensen's arms and face is faintly tinted pink by the sun. He's never seen Jensen topless, though he's definitely felt that skin under his fingers during their make-out sessions. Jensen is slender but defined and Jared can't help but eye the treasure trail leading from Jensen's bellybutton down under the waistband of his boxers. He feels pretty self-conscious about taking off his own clothes because he feels like he's a skinny bean-pole. His ribs aren't showing but only barely so. Not that Jensen seems to mind. As soon as Jared discards his t-shirt, Jensen takes one look at him and then pushes him against the bathroom door.

"God, Jared," Jensen mouths into his neck. Arching into Jensen's touch, Jared takes a hold of his head with one hand and runs the other one over Jensen's shoulder, broad and beautiful. He pulls Jensen's head back up and they kiss. Jared hasn't gotten over how Jensen's lips can be both soft and firm at the same time. There's always the tiniest bit of aggression in Jensen's kisses blended in with the tenderness and right now the kissing is turning him on so much. He presses Jensen closer to him to let him know how hard he's grown.

"I think you need that shower," Jensen murmurs against his lips and pushes away. Unconsciously, Jared follows him but stops short when Jensen steps out of his boxers and stands completely naked before him. Jared's heart is about to pop out of his chest. So Jensen is really beautiful all over.  
The water in the shower is slightly cool on their skin as they step into it but Jared doesn't really notice as he backs Jensen up against the shower wall, their lips smashing together and Jared banishes every coherent thought out of his head and allows his hands to roam Jensen's body.

This isn't time for slow and nice. He wants Jensen, wants him to know right now how much he wants this. His hands travel down to Jensen's behind and draws him closer; so close that their chests, stomachs, groins, dicks, everything are touching and all slippery wet.

Groaning into his mouth, Jensen digs his fingers into Jared's shoulders and then turns away from the kiss.

"Oh, god, touch me, Jared," Jensen hisses and Jared feels a burning hot jolt in the pit of his stomach. It's so hot to hear Jensen beg like that. So incredibly hot.

"Your hand," Jensen breathes again and with shaky fingers, Jared touches his cock. Jensen is already rock hard and so is he, for that matter. He gives Jensen a tentative stroke as Jensen moves his hand down, closing over his.

"Yours too," Jensen demands and opens his hand over Jared's dick. It's a strange feeling to have Jensen's hand there and then to slide against Jensen's own dick. But it feels like nothing Jared has ever experienced before. He knows he's close, the onslaught of sensations is too much.  
"Jensen…" His voice is strange and rough to his own ears.

"It's okay," Jensen whispers and presses his lips the pulse point on the side of Jared's neck.

That is all the incentive that Jared needs. He shakes violently as he comes and he has to brace himself against the shower wall. Never in his life has he come so hard.

He hears Jensen gasp about the same time as he comes down.

"Wow," Jensen says looking up to him. "We are definitely going to do this again."

Jared laughs and gives Jensen a lazy kiss.

____spacer____

  
Jared doesn't want to admit but the interlude in the shower kind of broke a dam with him and Jensen. They simply can't get enough of each other. Every night Jared finds another excuse to go to Jensen's place. He wishes he would feel worse about lying to his parents but he's seventeen and guaranteed orgasms with the guy he pretty much suspects he's in love with are worth more than complete disclosure with his parents.

Despite being unable to keep their hands off each other they haven't progressed further than what they did in the shower. Handjobs are all great and dandy and very good providers of orgasms but Jared wants more and he really doesn't want to pressure Jensen. The irony of a seventeen year old pressuring a twenty-something into sex doesn't escape him. So he keeps his mouth shut and enjoys how Jensen's kisses feel and how his calloused hand can have him coming in two minutes flat.  
Until one night when he's feeling strangely bold.

It all begins with him trashing Jensen at Madden, a game which they both kind of suck at but that night Jared seems to be the supreme ruler of his imaginary football team. He is sitting on the couch, doing random fist-pumps and Jensen just sits and rolls his eyes at him.

"You know, I should be a lot better at this game. I come from a town where football is revered. The football players there are like demigods. By default I should be gifted at this and especially when playing with some granola boy in a hippy little college town." Jensen sighs dramatically and falls back onto the couch, the game controller lying in his lap.

Jared throws his head back and laughs.

"Would you believe I've never seen an actual football game?"

"Oh my god. If anyone at home would ever learn this, they would be simply aghast. They'd be all 'Not only is he queer but he's a disgrace to our great football tradition.'"

"And they'd learn you'd lost to this granola-eating, hippy, queer boy," Jared says jeeringly, feeling everything but a peace-loving, granola-eating hippy. He crawls up the couch and pushes Jensen's game controller away.

"Yeah, if they knew you, they'd know you aren't really any of these things," Jensen says, looking straight at Jared, and the challenge present in Jensen's eyes doesn't escape Jared.

"No," Jared whispers before almost sinking his teeth in Jensen's neck. Winning that game of Madden sparked something within him. Jensen arches into Jared's aggressive kisses.

There's something about the taste of Jensen's skin, it's clean but there's always this tangy, salty taste that Jared just can't get enough of. He grazes a tendon with his teeth and then licks up the area where his teeth just were. Judging by Jensen's squirming, he enjoys it very much.

"I want you," Jared mouths into his boyfriend's neck, just under his ear and Jensen clearly hears him and understands what he's meaning: Jensen bucks up into Jared who can't help the smile that appears on his lips when he feels that Jensen is already hard.

"Fuck, Jared. I… We shouldn't…" Jensen breathes.

"Shouldn't do what?" Jared has thrown all caution to the wind and he wants Jensen to do the same. Maybe he's horny out of his mind but he trusts Jensen and he wants this.

"We were going to take this slow." Jensen chokes on his words a little, like he's fighting to hold on to his promise.

"I don't mind it being slow, though at the moment I doubt either of us has the patience for that."

Pulling himself back, Jared looks at Jensen who is half-sitting, half-lying on the couch. They could do it right here if they wanted to and he's almost shaking, trying to control himself, trying not to jump on Jensen.

"You're so right," Jensen gasps and raises himself from the couch. They look at each other and somehow break into a run into the bedroom, half-gripping each other and even managing to squeeze in few kisses before tumbling down on Jensen's bed.

Jared is vaguely aware that they are tearing the clothes off each other, hardly even registers it when Jensen pulls hard on his t-shirt, so hard that it catches on the junction of his jaw and throat, rubbing the skin almost raw.

Without giving it much thought, Jared pushes Jensen down onto the mattress and tries his best to map the expanse of Jensen's torso with his lips. He can't get enough of the soft skin on Jensen's lower belly and Jensen seems not to get enough of Jared's lips there as he arches up.

As he moves downwards, Jared feels that he can't ignore Jensen's hardness and despite his horrible past experience of giving a blowjob, he wants give Jensen one.

"Can I?" He asks, his voice so thick and rough that he isn't sure that Jensen can even hear him. So he tugs on the waistband of Jensen's boxers, hoping that he will get the message.

Without uttering a word, Jensen reaches down and pushes his underwear away. Jared's heart is hammering in his chest and he isn't really sure why because he wants to do this. He wants to know whether he's able to make Jensen come apart with his mouth, tongue and hands like that.

First he tries a tentative lick, running his tongue up the underside of Jensen's cock. In his mind's eye, he sees himself swallowing Jensen's dick down to the root but if his past experience taught him anything, then it was that he should start out slow. So he settles for dragging his lips and mouth up and down the shaft. Judging by the way Jensen's hips are jerking, he likes what Jared is doing so his courage grows. Bringing his lips around the head of Jensen's dick, he sucks gently but pulls away when Jensen jolts up off the mattress.

"Sorry," he whispers and his voice is scratchy like he's not used it for a long time.

Jared gives him a smile and envelopes Jensen's cock in his hand, taking care to not squeeze too tight. He licks the part of the shaft that isn't covered by his hand and then sucks Jensen into his mouth. Moving his head up and down, he creates a rhythm, a rhythm that Jensen seems to appreciate greatly, judging by the way he pushes up into it. As Jared licks with the tip of his tongue over the crown and into the slit, a shudder passes through Jensen.

"Please," Jensen sobs, "I'm so close. I… I…" As he attempts to bat Jared away, he comes in great pulses into Jared's mouth. The come has a bitter taste and as Jared lifts his head and Jensen's dick pops free of his mouth, he swallows with some difficulties, his gag reflex working against him.

But he's kind of satisfied that he's managed to make Jensen come, mostly with his mouth. It's a notch in his bedpost, if you please. He crawls up the bed to take a look at Jensen's blissed-out face. His dark lashes make an interesting contrast to his pale cheeks and the smile that is playing his lips makes them look so kissable. So Jared does just that. He could feel Jensen smile even wider into the kiss and then suck on his tongue like he was chasing his own taste. They make out lazily for a little while and Jared tries his best to ignore that he's still hard and very much turned on.

As he has started to wonder whether he should take the mind over matter approach and try will his erection away, Jensen breaks their kiss.

"I want you," he says, his voice barely a whisper but Jared feels a hot jolt in the pit of his stomach. Jensen's eyes are shining, like there's a fire lit within him and Jared knows what Jensen wants.

"You want me… " Jared chokes on the words.

"In me." Jensen cups his face and pulls him down for another kiss. When Jared pulls back, he can't think for his beating heart and the lust in his veins. He stares at Jensen, unsure what to do and the corners of Jensen's mouth lift up.

"I want to. And I can prep myself."

Jared watches, unmoving, as Jensen unearths lube and condoms and then he gets up on his knees, reaching back with lube-covered fingers. His mouth dries up as he watches Jensen's fingers disappear inside him and Jensen's face as he opens himself up. It takes every grain Jared has of self-control not to touch himself as Jensen's breath hitches slightly and his head falls back.

Without saying anything, Jensen stops what he's been doing. Ripping open a condom, he crawls to Jared who is still like frozen while Jensen rolls the condom on him.

"You know, this isn't going to work if you don't move," Jensen says, his lips touching the shell of Jared's ear and then he moves down to kiss Jared's neck.

And it's enough provocation for Jared. He grabs Jensen's shoulders and as he plants a crushing kiss to his lips, he tumbles on the top of Jensen, trying to open his legs with his knees. Jensen shifts underneath him, wrapping his legs around Jared's waist, folding himself as he reaches for Jared's cock. It takes a bit of slightly painful maneuvering for them until Jared is pushing into Jensen.

It feels nothing like Jared had imagined it would feel like, nothing like having someone fisting his dick. It's a lot tighter and hotter than he had anticipated. He tries to go slow, not wanting to hurt Jensen but it's hard. All he wants is to sink into the tightness and warmth.

"It's okay," Jensen gasps and Jared feels how Jensen is trying to drawing him closer by digging his heels into the small of Jared's back. When he's all in, he's still for few moments before moving. His thrust are shallow, merely jerks of his hips. He's so close that he's shaking and he barely registers when Jensen reaches up to swipe his sweaty bangs from his eyes. Jensen's touch is almost cooling on his forehead.

"Jared, you don't have to hold back."

Jensen didn't have to say or do anything more. With couple of quick snaps of his hips, Jared is coming. Trembling, his field of vision turns red and his breath is coming out in sharp pants. Somehow he manages to retain enough consciousness to not to collapse onto Jensen and rolls to the side. Slipping out of Jensen, there's a strange sense of loss.

"I'm sorry I didn't last longer," Jared croaks, trying to find his voice again. He turns his face into Jensen's pillow.

"Oh, this was just like it should have been." The simple sound of Jensen's voice is calming to him. "I think it went well and you know, we can do this many, many times more and we can only get better at it."

So maybe Jensen is right, maybe this was fucking great and Jared can't help but letting out a short and happy laughter.

____spacer____

  
"I'm absolutely heartbroken that this is your last day here." Misha has presented him with a decorated cupcake since it's Jared's last day at Erasmus's Necessities.

"Well, some of us still need some education," Jared says as he takes a bite out of his cupcake.

"That's true. I'll miss you though. Why won't you take the part time shifts I'm offering you?"

"I won't have time, Misha, you know that. There's school and the quiz bowl team…"

"And Jensen."

"And Jensen," Jared agrees.

"You are so going to end up being one of those filthy happy couples who will survive everything. Long distances, star-crossed lovers scenarios, everything."

"Yeah, sure," Jared says, trying to be nonchalant but secretly trying to battle the butterflies in his belly at the thought of spending his whole life with Jensen.

"At least Jensen isn't going to break up with you because he has this really tough course in theoretical physics."

Jared snorts. He may have done a tiny fist pump when Chad had called him the night before and told him that Alexis had dumped him as her start of term nerves had kicked into high gear. Chad wasn't all that heartbroken but in the spirit of their friendship, Jared had invited him over and they had played a rather vigorous round of Mario Kart where he'd been completely defeated by Chad in every game. Whether Chad had won every game fair and square, on the other hand, is a secret Jared is going to take with him to his grave.

-End

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> General notes about things that appeared in the fic:
> 
> Misha's Faroese: "Góðan dag. Hvussu gongur?" – "Good Day. How are things?"  
> Magyar Köztársaság is the official name of Hungary.
> 
> The name of the bookstore where Jared and Misha work (Erasmus's Necessities) is inspired by a quote by Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam who said: "If I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes."
> 
> The quiz bowl competition doesn't completely follow any actual quiz bowl format. It's more an amalgam of the quiz bowl format I know the best and formats I read about when I was researching quiz bowl competitions in the U.S. The Stanford Quiz Bowl Packet Archive was a huge help while figuring out the question format.
> 
> Acknowledgements:
> 
> My deepest thanks for my incredible roommate sigrundora who has shown enthusiasm and support while I was writing this. I'm pretty sure if it hadn't been for her telling me to "get writing", this story wouldn't have been completed. She was also so kind to take time off from her travels to look at the grammar and spelling. She rocks so hard.
> 
> Sarka should be lauded for so many thing like being the inspiration for Misha, for seeing the first fragments of this story and telling me that there was something there. For having supported me in my writing for years(!!) and for also sacrificing valuable time to look over the story and give me invaluable points on how to improve it.
> 
> (It should be noted that any errors remaining are mine and mine alone.)
> 
> The people on my Big Bang filter need to be thanked and Sarah Black in particular for being supportive and nice, especially since RPS isn't her cup of tea. Tu es le meilleur, Brian.
> 
> I was so fortunate to have my summary picked by staticsintheair. It has been a joy to work with her and to see what she has come up with. Her story art does more than compliment the story. I can't tell you how much I love the banner and the dividers and CD cover art. Not to mention the soundtrack. That was collaboration as there are few songs there I chose but she seemed to be able find such great music for the fic. I'm in awe and it makes me so happy that she was able to be so inspired by my work. Go and heap praise upon her as she richly deserves it in [her art post](http://staticsintheair.livejournal.com/102341.html).
> 
> And thanks to wendy and thehighwaywoman for making spn_j2_bigbang such an awesome challenge to participate in.


End file.
